Crimson
by Goten0040
Summary: I was tricked.Tricked into betraying by someone new. Tricked into doing something I set out not to do.I was in love.I was in lust.I was tricked.And now, I have to pay. Forgive me, titans.I never meant for this to happen.RavenxBeastboy slight RobinxStar
1. Chapter One

Crimson

(A/N: This story is disclaimed. Man, I'm writing alot in 1st Person lately... Oh well. I need to work on it anyway. I don't think I could capture this story as well in a different POV. Enjoy the angst!)

((Summary: I was tricked. Tricked into betraying by someone new. Tricked into doing something I set out not to do. I was in love. I was in lust. I was tricked. And now, I have to pay. Forgive me, titans.... I never meant... for this to happen. Why didn't I see the one I wanted right in front of me?! RavenxBeastboy, RobinxStar.))

Chapter One

(Raven's POV)

"Wakie, wakie!" Beastboy said, masking his regret of losing Terra with that horrible, fake cheerfulness that almost made me sick at my stomach.

He tried so hard, it was saddening. I wasn't the only who noticed either. Still, little by little, day by day, he was getting over her. I think we all knew she'd never come back, but I think the impact didn't hit Beastboy until lately. His smile was as happy as always, but his eyes told the story- the story of sorrow, loneliness, regret, all horrible feelings combined into one, peculiar emotion that let off a vibe that was almost scary. Starfire had taken it hard as well. She wasn't her normal self lately either- she hadn't been since the loss of the rock-tossing woman. I poured my morning herbal tea and sat at the table, listening to the silence in my head, muffling all conversation.

"What are you really doing here, Raven?" I thought to myself. These thoughts had occured to me alot lately. "Why are you here? Are you truly trusted, or has it been broken because of Terra? If they didn't trust her, why not you? Did they really trust me in the first place?"

I sipped at my tea, trying to find an answer to conclude my thoughts, perhaps make me feel better even, but I found that I couldn't. I didn't know. The only thing that came to mind was that they didn't trust me at all, that it was all just some game- some stupid game that I was caught in playing. This is when my thoughts always stopped and were replaced with 'never betray them, they'll come to trust you... someday.' I never planned to destroy the bond between us. I never wanted to be alone. Even if I passed it off as so, being alone was something I didn't like. It seemed as if cheerful banter between my friends, sweet conversations, encouraging words, and words of worry if I felt bad always seemed to make my future a little brighter. It was the light at the end of the tunnel, and if that light ever burned out, I wouldn't know what to do.

"Raven!"

"Huh?" I snapped out of my private thoughts to see my friends staring at me.

"Are you... okay?" Starfire asked, apparently unsure of herself.

"I'm fine," I answered impassively.

"You sure? You've been actin' kinda strange lately," Cyborg said in his usual tone.

"I'm fine," I assured, finding slight irritance. "Now, exuse me."

With this, I stood up and made my way out of the kitchen. They thought I was acting strange? I thought I was acting normally- at least, as normal as I could, being who I was. Then it occured to me. I had this deep longing in my soul that caused these thoughts, that would never be tamed... until I found what I was searching for. I knew what it was too. I was wanting love, something I hadn't had in my entire life. I wanted a man that would hold me close, tell me everything was all right.

I knew this was what I wanted when I saw Beastboy and Terra together not long ago. I had just forgotten about it. I wanted a man like that. I wanted someone who would love me for who I was, who would care whether I lived or died, who'd, most of all, tell me that he loved me as well. But, alas, I had no one. I never would have anyone because I was an emotionless, empty, shell. How could you love someone who couldn't show love back without breaking something or hurting someone? It was impossible, and it made my heart break at the mere thought of it all. My eyes were burning by now, longing to drain themselves of the gathering tears that were blurring my vision. Perhaps I should cheer myself up by going to do something, anything. I left the tower without letting the titans know I had gone.

(Later, Still Raven's POV)

I had walked, shopped, listened to poetry, but nothing seemed to make me feel better. That deep need, that desire to be loved by a man, the want to know that I could love someone else, still remained. I found myself moving to the edge of town, the darkest area imaginable, a place where someone such as myself... belonged. I discovered that I wasn't alone. I felt something deep in the back of my mind, the paranoia that someone was watching me, following behind me, in the very edge of my shadow. I turned, unnerved, trying to see who my pursuer was.

"Come out," I said, feeling my power growing. "I know you're there."

"Raven, please, do not attack me."

"Hm?" I saw the unidentified person step from the shadows, revealing his jet black hair and whispy grey eyes.

His outfit seemed to be old fashioned, made of robes and such. His hair was long, reaching his backside, and pulled back in a low pony tail. His face was pale, but mysterious, as if he were the night sky itself. He was gorgeous, and I noticed.

I noticed extremely quickly....

(A/N: Viola! Wow! This is so good, if I must say so myself. I never thought I could capture that much emotion in one chapter. Sorry that it's kinda short. I just didn't want to get it off to a quick start. I hope to have the next chapter up soon. By the way, I don't want to give away the main storyline, but there will be alot of RobinxStar in later chapters, but definately RavenxBeastboy. Oh, and I deleted "Lethal Emotions" because I need to rewrite it. It was horrible, even though a good idea. Well, that's all for now, so, please review!)


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

"I'm sorry. I should properly introduce myself. My name is Kison. (A/N: pronounced Keesown.) I am a medicine maker, persay."

"Raven," I said, a dark tone of warning in my voice.

"I wanted to help you. That is why I have been following you. However, this is a private matter so I couldn't speak to you until you were out of the busy part of the city."

"Uh-huh..." I was unconvinced. This guy had a strange vibe.

"Raven..." he said, his eyes gleaming, "I can make you... feel..."

(Beastboy's POV)

"Raven? RAAAAVEEEEN! Where the hell is she?" I said, stomping down the hallway, a book in my hand.

The book belonged to her. I found it on the couch, and I was trying to return it to her. I couldn't find her, however, and it was making me angry. I didn't want to look around all f-cking day to give her her stupid book! Of course, I had gotten angry at Raven way too easily lately. I guess I sort of blamed her for the loss of Terra. It wasn't her fault. I just didn't want to feel better, and Raven was the only one who would tell me to get over it and move on with life. I didn't want to get over it. I wanted to be upset. It made me feel better at night that I grieved her loss. It was the right thing to do, and the only one who didn't understand that was Raven.

Of course, Raven was and empty shell. She didn't seem to have any emotions at all, except for the ones trapped in that scary mirror of hers. She still irritated the heck out of me, just because she didn't even say she cared about Terra's loss. I didn't think she even liked Terra... at all. I stared at the door the occupied the sign reading 'RAVEN.' It was a risk, but I needed to put the book up so I could go drown myself in my sorrows, as the gothic girl so clearly put it many times. I pushed open the door slightly, looked around, then made my way in, quickly shutting the door behind me.

Raven's room hadn't changed since I had last been in there. It was the same dark violets, reds, and blues. I moved toward her bookshelf and found the empty place where the book most likely belonged. I shoved the book into the spot, finishing my job. The room was still creepy. I noticed a chill of deja vu as I stared at the small hand glass that Raven used to meditate. I ran out of the room, not able to take the idea of going back in that awful place.... Although... Rae and I had made some new connections in that mirror. It seemed that she was nicer to me afterwards as well. Raven was just too hard to figure out. With that done, I set out to find something to occupy me from both of the women on my mind.

(Raven's POV)

"F-feel? As in... emotion?" I couldn't hide the surprise my voice. It was too good to be true!

"Yes, Raven. I've been watching you for a long time. I am quite an admirerer, so I thought I could try to change you. I want to make you happy, to feel happiness, to know happiness."

Who was he? Was he some sort of stalker? Or was he truly a friend wanting to help me? Still, the deep, deep need and want for emotions took over any common sense I might have had at the time. He offered his hand to me, and I took it as if I were in some sort of mental trance. There, he led me to his house, nothing much, but enough for someone to live in.

"Raven," he said. "Do you wish to go through with this?"

"Yes, yes I do!" I exclaimed, not really thinking for the idea of being happy without exploding something made my mind blur.

"Good. Come back here tomorrow, okay? And do not speak of our visits. I must prepare things."

"Yes, I will!"

(Beastboy's POV)

"Raven! Where'd you go?" Cyborg asked, looking up from dinner.

"Yeah," I added. "I figured you'd never come back."

"Seems like a possibility," she snapped.

"What?" I looked at Cyborg with a look of question upon my face.

He shrugged. I sighed and continued eating my tofu. Raven sat at the table and began to eat. Something was different about her, something that had changed since this morning. It was almost as if her eyes merely sparkled, like Starfire's did so often. I didn't seem to be the only one who noticed.

"Raven, you seem... happy..." Robin tried to word his sentence.

"I can't be... happy," Raven's eyes switched to a glare. "But I do feel well, so that is fine for me. Excuse me."

Raven stood, put her plate in the sink and left the four of us in the kitchen. It was so weird. I could never understand that woman- or women in particular at all.

(Raven's POV)

I felt like dancing around my room in sweet, sweet exuberance. Alas, I could not. But what made me so happy was the fact that I might have been able too soon! Excitement washed over me. I felt as if I could barely contain myself in the empty shell of a body that I held. I lay back on my bed, letting out a sigh. This could be a trap. All the bad things this might be were coming to my mind finally. I would have to stay on guard when I got there. I fell into slumber, awaiting the next day.

Morning came early for me, as it always did. I liked getting up early because I could have a shower without waiting, and I could also have some silence for meditation before the others got up. I didn't meditate as much as usual, however, because I felt I wouldn't need it much longer. I did take a long shower though. The water felt so nice. Everything felt so nice. I just seemed so happy. I changed into my normal outfit and moved out into the kitchen to make my herbal tea, a rare smile upon my face. The moment I picked up my glass to sip, someone entered the kitchen. Normally, I would be irritated, but I was happy, so I paid no mind to it.

"Hey, quit leaving your books around," came Beastboy's tired voice. "I've put three back in your room."

Boom.

"You... went into... my room.Without asking?"

"You were AWOL. I couldn't ask you 'cause you were gone. Duh. Where were you anyway?"

"It's none of your business."

"What? Gotta boyfriend or something?"

He always had a way of ruining my day.

"I said... It's NONE OF YOU BUSINESS!" the teapot shattered into pieces, sending the herbal liquid all over the kitchen.

I gasped. My lack of meditation hadn't kept my powers at bay. Beastboy seemed irritated.

"That's it! ALL YOU DO IS EXPLODE AT ME!" he screamed. "I WAS JUST ASKING WHERE YOU WENT!"

"YOU'RE NOT MY FATHER!"

"Yeah, well your father wouldn't care, would he?" Beastboy said harshly.

I felt my heart freeze for a moment.

"SHUT UP!" Many of the utensils around the kitchen began flying violently around the room. "YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING, YOU STUPID BEAST!"

Beastboy let out a yell. I paled. My powers threw him against the wall. Everything became quiet. My powers fell. The kitchen lay a mess as Beastboy stayed against the wall, unmoving.

"My God," I thought. "What the hell have I done?"

I quickly ran to him, lifting up his head. His breath hit my face. He was merely unconcious. Good. I had to get my emotions fixed. I couldn't keep this up much longer. The other titans ran into the kitchen and haulted, staring at me in shock. I didn't know what to say. I just sunk into the floor and ran for my life into the city.

(Cyborg's POV)

Something had definately been up with Raven lately. This was just proving it even more. It seemed she'd changed as much as Beastboy since Terra had died. Just as much, but differently. Beastboy had gone through the change of loss, a depressed faze that not many could go through. Raven, however, had become darker, scarier, angrier. She blew up at about anyone and everyone she had the chance to get angry at, mostly Beastboy. The worst part was, neither of them needed these arguments, and this, this was too much. I had a bad feeling about those two. To think that I thought they were going to fall for each other! Boy, was I wrong. Things had just gotten worse between the two since Terra showed up. Yep, these two were going to have some problems...

(Raven's POV)

I had made it to Kison in record time. My fear of hurting them again brought energy to me, sending me forward to him. He looked up from a book he was reading and smiled.

"Hello, Raven. I'm glad to see you. Follow me."

I merely nodded and followed.

"I understand if you do not trust me right away," he said, as he led me into an alley. "That would be the first idea. I promise I will not hurt you, though. I hope you will learn to trust me."

He was so kind. It was as if he'd known me all my life. I nodded again and followed him into a building. I gasped at the large laboratory he had.

"I know. You wouldn't expect something like this to be in this run-down building. But I created it." He smiled at me again.

"It's incredible," I commented, running my fingers across a few of the machine's surfaces.

"I'm a hard worker, I suppose," he let out a laugh.

"So, how are you going to bring my emotions to life?" I asked, finding a spot on a nearby bed.

"I must tell you now, dear Raven. It will be painful. It may be frightening."

"I can take the pain."

"Raven, I will have to take your blood. Alot of it."

"Fine."

"You may have to take certain medicines."

"Deal."

"You might become very ill."

"It's no problem."

"You really want this, don't you?" he looked up.

"Yes, yes I do..." I felt my heart wrench as I said so, telling me that what I had said was true.

"Good. Let's get to work!"

(A/N: What do you guys think? This fic doesn't seem like it's rated R yet, but I promise that things are gonna get pretty bad, pretty dark. So be warned. Please review! Oh, and I got a review from someone who called me 'sir'. I'm a girl. Don't worry, I'm not offended. Just getting it across.)


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter Three

(Beastboy's POV)

"Damn her!" I screamed, banging my fist on the table.

"B.B., calm down." Cyborg grabbed my shoulders and pushed me down onto a chair.

"Why the hell should I?!" I was infuriated at the wounds she had caused.

"It wasn't her fault! That's why!"

"Oh, shut up! Why do you always stick up for her? Ever think she might actually want to kill me?!"

"Beastboy, you know better than to accuse her of that." Cyborg sat me back down in the chair.

"I don't understand," I muttered, "It's been like this since Terra came and went. I hate it. Why is she so angry at me, Cy? Did I do something to make her mad?"

"Raven's having some... problems. I think she's afraid we might notice and not like her anymore. She may not express herself often, but she really has soem deep emotions trapped in there. I don't know what's goin' on. I think she thinks that you'll be the first to find out, B.B. Remember, you know her better than all of us."

"What makes you think that?"

"Because it's true. B.B., you may not have realized this, but you've made a much bigger connection with her than you think."

"Whatever you say. Last time I checked, she hated me. Was it because she didn't like Terra?"

"It was obvious that she didn't really like Terra. We could tell that easily. I don't know why she didn't like her. But I may have an idea..."

"What?"

"Nevermind. I think you should go find her."

"Sure, whatever. I'd rather kill myself." I stomped out of the room."

(Raven's POV)

"Okay, Raven, take off your gloves."

"W...why?"

"I'm sorry, Raven, but I have to take your blood."

"Okay. Where's the needles? Are they sterilized?"

"Raven, I'm afraid we'll have to take it in another way. Using the needle, we wouldn't get enough in time."

"Then how are we..." I saw Kison pull out a knife. "You're going to slash my wrists?"

"Don't worry. They'll be rebandaged."

"Um..." I was beginning to lose trust in him. But he seemed sure of himself, so I went along. "Okay..."

With that, I removed my gloves, laying them beside me. He grabbed my arm and held it steady, then slashed the blade across it. I let out a wimper as the blood began to trickle down my arm. He began to fill a large container with my blood. Seeing all the crimson fluid made me feel slightly nauseous, even if I was used to seeing blood. After the container was full, he applied pressure to my wound, cleaned it, and bandaged it.

"We will have to do this more than once."

"I understand," I said, nodding my head.

"Now, get you blood running again. I'll see you here tomorrow."

"Mmhmm." I took to the air and left the building without looking back. This guy was weird, but it was nice to have someone who didn't yell at me all the time or someone who would irritate me, asking if I was okay. Wasn't I always?

(Starfire's POV)

"Raven! Wonderous, you have returned! Do you wish for us to meditate together?"

"Actually, Star, I'd rather take a nap right now..."

"O...kay..." I watched Raven brush past me and lock herself in her room.

Why was she so sleepy? She was never exhausted. It was making me imagine to where she was going everyday. I watched her door for a while, expecting her to sigh and let me in. She did not. It gave me great sadness to think she might not want to speak to me any longer. I sighed and walked away. I haulted, looking sadly up at Robin who had entered the hallway as well.

"Starfire? Are you okay?"

"I am... not okay, Robin. I fear of Raven's health. She is acting quite strangely..."

"I know. You'll just have to give her her space, that's all." He smiled at me and took my hand.

He led me into the living room and sat down on the couch. I snuggled close to him, feeling his warmth.

"Meanwhile," he said, "You can spend time with me."

"That sounds lovely," I said, moving closer, feeling his arm droop around my shoulder.

(Robin's POV)

I was glad that Starfire had grown happier. It worried me when she was unhappy. Although she thought I was relaxed, I was deep in thought about Raven as well. She was acting much different lately. Most of her anger was aimed at Beastboy as well. It made me wonder if she was actually jealous of Terra. Could she really love Beastboy? It seemed that after some obstacles, they'd grown so close. Then Terra appeared, and Raven returned to the depths of her room and the darkness of her soul. I felt Starfire go limp into sleep. I watched her face drop to my lap. Her beauty always caught me off guard. I blushed slightly and closed my eyes as well. She always seemed ot make me feel at ease. What an amazing girl, she was...

(Raven's POV)

I rubbed my sore wrist as I slid my glove back on. I pulled my hood over my face and made my way out of my room to eat dinner. I was feeling weak, so I needed something to keep me going. I sat at the table as Beastboy served his usual tofu dinner. Cyborg made stupid comments as always. I merely sat and ate.

"This stuff tastes like shit! How do you eat it everyday?!" Cyborg yelled.

"I have refined tastes, unlike you, carnivore."

"Herbavore."

"You don't understand because you're not an animal. You wouldn't eat humans or robots would you?"

"They'd taste better than this!"

"Guys," Robin started.

"Please desist," Starfire mumbled.

They kept arguing. I had a migrane that was growing with each pounding word they threw into my ears. My fists crunched together, my nails digging into the skin of my palms. My teeth gritted and my eyes closed. I felt veins popping all over my head. They kept yelling and yelling. I couldn't take it anymore!

"SHUT UP!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, sending plates to the air and around the robot and the changeling.

They dodged. I realized what I'd done and felt my breath catch in my throat.

"Raven! What the hell? Can you not go a few hours without blowing stuff up at me?!" Beastboy yelled.

"I...I don't know..." I quickly escaped to my room where I buried my head in my knees. It wasn't over yet, however.

"Uh-uh! You get out of there right now, Raven! We need to talk, right here, right now!"

I stayed silent, longing for him to go away.

"DAMMIT! COME OUT BEFORE I BUST THAT F-CKING DOOR DOWN!"

I felt tears gathering at the bottom of my eyes with every word he screamed.

"You're always playing the victim. Well, I've had enough! I'm tired of feeling sorry for you! All it is with you is confusion! I don't understand you!"

"..."

"Come out, right now! I will come in there. I don't care what you do to me. It can't be any worse than the crap you do to me daily!"

He pushed to door open and stopped. I stared at him through blurry vision.

"You don't understand me... No one does..."

"Don't start that with me, bitch!"

"Go away."

"Why the hell should I?!"

"GO AWAY!" my powers erupted and threw him into the hallway.

Tears rolled down my cheeks. I quickly hid them with my hood.

"If you've had enough of me, then why don't you just leave me alone? You're always there, trying to make me happy.... What if I don't wanna be happy?! WHAT IF?!"

Beastboy glared at me. I felt this deep betrayal from him for some reason. I had for a long time, and I didn't know why.

"TERRA WAS NEVER LIKE THIS!" he screamed.

I felt like a switch had gone off in me.

"I'm... not... TERRA!" my powers began to throw things at Beastboy, most hitting him.

His yells of pain made me happy. I didn't want to be happy, but they made me smile maliciously. My power slowly faded away. Beastboy gave a fearful stare at me.

"Wh-what's the matter with you?..."

I turned back to my room, where I proceeded to replace my door. There, I leaned against it...

I cried my eyes out.

(A/N: Wow, quickie update huh? I guess I got really interested in writing this since "Spellbound." That episode was so great. Review please!)


	4. Chapter Four

Chapter Four

"Kison!" I ran into the lab, my eyes frantically moving around.

He looked up from his work, surprised to see me at night. I skidded to a hault in front of him, my breath coming quickly, almost dangerously. My heart was pummeling against my chest as if trying to get out.

"Raven! What are you doing he-"

"Fix me," I cried out. "TURN ME INTO A NORMAL PERSON!"

"I see. Raven, did your powers go out of control again?"

"I... I can't help it!" I collapsed onto the bed I had sat on earlier that day. "I just get so angry when he's...."

"He?"

"...Beastboy. It doesn't matter what he does. It just angers me... everything he does.... The way he walks, the way he talks, the way he tries to make me laugh... and when he smiles that stupid grin... UGH!" I felt tears fly down my cheeks as more objects began to float in the air due to my power.

"It does seem that you have some unexpressed emotion deep down that you don't know what it is... Hmm... this is definately interesting. Raven, when did your power start getting the better of you?"

"I...don't know...."

"Yes, Raven. You do. Don't you?"

I nodded, realizing the truth that I had to face. I felt pain inside me, a numbing feeling that was pulsing with every aching beat of my heart. My face was cold with the wet tears I had cried for so long.

"It was when... SHE showed up." For some reason, the word 'she' sounded extremely venomous to my ears.

"She? Who?"

"..."

"Raven, tell me."

"Terra..."

(Beastboy's POV)

I sat in my room. I wasn't angry anymore, but I wasn't back to my average self either. In fact, I was kind of confused. Maybe Raven couldn't control her powers anymore. Would that make her less trustworthy? Of course it would, but would it be her fault? I threw my hackysack against the wall, watching it bounce back to my hand and back to the wall again, then back to my hand again.

"This sucks," I said softly, throwing myself back on my bed. "I guess I deserved that last attack. Maybe I should apologize..."

With that, I stood and made my way to Raven's room. I knocked on the door three times. No answer.

"Um...Rae? You there?" I said meekly. "Rae?" I opened the door.

The room was empty. Again. I ran a hand through my hair, giving out a sigh. Where could she have gone at this late hour. Either way, I was going to wait for her right there until she got back. I sat down on her bed, looking around at all the dramatic features of her room. The deep reds and blues and purples were almost mesmerizing. Raven was definately a great decorator, now that I actually payed attention to her room. Figuring it might be a while before she returned, I walked to her bookshelf to find something I might find remotely interesting.

"Hm? What's this? The Book of Azar?" I opened the book to the middle, scanning the pages for any violence that I might like to read about.

"-in which, this Angela was taken to Azarath, a dimension far from this Earth, to be cared for. The Azarathians help let her decide to not kill herself and he child-to-be..."

"What is this?" I thought, flipping through more pages.

"Raven, the young child of the now, Arella, was a demon, and she could not-"

"RAVEN?!" I said, surprised.

"-see her sweet mother, no matter how much the two longed to see the other. The emotion she would feel upon seeing her would be dangerous, even deadly. Yes, the young child Raven could not feel emotion. She was cursed upon by the evil Trigon, making her the empty shell she had to become."

I closed the book. It was confusing, but heartwrenching. I shoved it back into it's spot on the bookshelf, then searched for more books that might not force me to ask questions of my teammate. I found a book that had no title. It made me wonder, so I opened it. It was a book of poems, Raven's poems, being that they were all in her handwriting.

"The girl is alone.

But she is not alone.

She is with him.

But he is with another.

Does she deserve such?

Does this boy not like this girl, but the other?

Would it matter?

All questions come to the girl's mind when she sees Te-"

That was it. Her handwriting had come to an abrupt stop, as if she'd realized something she shouldn't have. Perhaps an alarm had gone off at that point, but I was curious as to who "Te-" was. I sighed and put the book back. Raven was even confusing in her books! Maybe I was just stupid or something. I sat back down on her bed, awaiting the gothic girl to return.

(Raven's POV)

"Terra?"

"Yes. Terra. You've been watching us Titans. You know who she is."

"Yes, I do. She was the one that betrayed you all, correct?"

"Yes," I gave a small sigh.

"Perhaps that large feeling of deception created an emotional breakdown."

"But I never liked her!" I yelled, then stopped, realizing what I was saying.

"I see. Perhaps you felt betrayal from... someone else?"

I felt my heart start beating faster and my face warm. I turned quickly away, angered at myself.

"No..."

"Well, it's none of my business anyway. We'll just get to work on your emotions. If you really want this to go faster, I'll have to take alot of blood tomorrow, and you'll have to start taking these drugs here." He handed me some pills that looked harmless.

"Why...are you so nice to me?" I looked Kison in his eyes.

"Well, my dear, I must say that I've longed to meet you. I've watched you and admired you for so long.... Raven, I love you."

"Wh...what?! Isn't that a little fast?"

"I've watched you for longer than you know, my dear."

I had to admit, it was kinda creepy to know that someone had been watching me this long, but he was so handsome and caring and understanding... I felt that he really was in love with me. He tucked a stray hair behind my ear, making my face flush. His face was so close... I almost wanted to return his affections, but I knew that I could not. I pushed him away, as I had so many others.

"If you truly love me, you will understand that I am still dangerous..."

"Yes, I see. We will fix that, Raven. I promise."

"Mmhmm," I smiled at him. "I'll be back tomorrow."

"Sweet dreams," he said sweetly.

I nodded.

(Beastboy's POV)

I snorted, waking up from my doze. It was about two o' clock in the morning. Raven wasn't back yet. I was starting to get worried when she dreamily walked in. She had a soft smile on her face, despite the exhaustion she probably felt. She stopped smiling when she saw me.

"..." Her face became a glare.

"Raven, before you kill me, I just wanted to say... I'm sorry." I said quickly.

"Sorry?" Her face returned to a blank look.

"Yeah... I've been kinda mean lately. I know you don't deserve it... It's just... I haven't been myself since..."

"I don't think either of us have. You have your reasons and I have mine." Raven sighed, the look in her eyes heartwrenching. "But... I don't think we should go off on each other like we have..."

"I feel the same way."

"Look, for now, you'll just have to deal with it. It won't be like this for much longer, I promise, but please, try and respect my privacy and such."

"Raven..." I stood up and walked to her. "I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt any of my friends."

"I understand," she said, her eyes nearly killing me inside. I had never seen such confusion, such sorrow, in one person's eyes.

Surprising even myself, I took her into my arms and hugged her tightly.

"Remember, you don't have to run from the ones that you care about...."

"Mmhmm..."

"Those that you care about... will always understand... if they truly care for you."

(The Next Day, Raven's POV)

"This is crazy," I thought, trying to get everything straightened out in my head. "Kison is all over me, then I come back and Beastboy is all nice to me.... I'm so confused now... I just hope I can figure it out soon..."

(A/N: Tada! A new chapter, all typed up for your enjoyment. Please review! I'm not getting as many reviews as I expected. I love the ones I have, but, not to sound selfish, I think this fic deserves alot more reviews.)


	5. Chapter Five

Chapter Five

(Beastboy's POV)

"Beastboy? You still up?"

"Yeah, c'mon in, Cy," I sighed, running a hand through my hair.

Cyborg walked into the room, his feet making metal clanks upon the floor.

"Got somethin' on your mind?" Cyborg took a seat beside me.

"Is it that obvious?" I grinned at him.

"No, I'm just observant. That, and it seems that you and Raven have kinda calmed down. You guys patching things up?"

"I guess so. I think we're gettin' back on track with each other," I said, breathing a sigh of relief.

"Good," Cyborg said, taking a seat on my bed.

"Yeah..."

"Somethin' still botherin' you?"

"Yeah, actually," I said resting my head on my hand, toying with my pencil. "Raven came in really late last night. She's been leaving alot lately. I'm kinda curious as to where she's been going. Still, she says for me to trust her, so I will."

"Hmm... maybe she's got a boyfriend," Cyborg grinned.

For some reason, I flinched. I felt an anger inside me that I didn't understand. I shook my head.

"Yeah, right." I leaned back in my chair, and soon enough, I was on the floor, because I had leaned back too far.

Cyborg went into laughter. I stuck my tongue out at him. He wiped a tear from his eye, slowly calming his chuckles, then smiled at me.

"You're too much, B.B. You're too much." With that, he left me, stumped at what he meant.

(Raven's POV)

"Come in," I said upon hearing the knocking, looking up from my book.

"Hey," Cyborg said, entering the room.

"Making your night rounds, Cyborg?" I said, smiling at him and knowing him all too well.

"You read me better than your books, Rae."

"Of course," I said, tucking some hair behind my ear.

"So, how have you been?"

"Fine, I guess. I suppose I'm a little stressed lately..."

"A little?"

"Okay, alot," I huffed.

"Somethin' up with your emotions, Rae?"

"Sort of... but I'm getting everything fixed. I can't tell you much about it now, but trust me on this. I'll have everything taken care of. I've already told-"

"B.B., yeah, I know. Are your emotions keeping you out all night, Rae? Hmm?"

"I... I can't explain it now. Why don't you just... go to bed... or something." I turned back to my book.

"Don't get touchy with me!" Cyborg whined mockingly, making me grin.

"That's right, I only do that to Beastboy."

"Heh, right. He is worried about you, ya' know. That's why he asks you about the places you're going and stuff."

"Yeah, I know. I... feel guilty for blowing up at him as I have, but... I can't help it..."

"I see."

"..."

"..."

"Hey, Cyborg?"

"Yeah?"

"Let's have a hypothetical situation here."

"Okay, shoot."

"Um... let's say... there's this guy."

"Uh-huh..."

"And... he really loves this girl... 'cause he's been watching her and such..."

"Yeah.... go on..."

"But the girl just met him..."

"Uh-huh..."

"But she thinks she likes him the same way..."

"Okay..."

"What should she do?"

"Well, Rae, the best thing I could suggest is that this girl follows her heart, but keeps some common sense, ya' know, don't get carried away."

"Ah, yes..."

"Well, I'm goin' to bed," Cyborg stood and stretched, heading out the door.

"Hey, Cy?" I asked, right before he went through the door.

"Yeah?"

"You give good advice. G'night." I closed my book.

"Goodnight," he said, smiling at me.

The door slid shut. I lay back on my bed, feeling my body falling slowly into slumber. Cyborg was so great. Just a great, great guy...

(The Next Day, Beastboy's POV)

I lay another plate upon the table, humming to myself as I did so. I then slapped food onto the dish. Cyborg was busy cooking his own breakfast, not wanting the tofu that I had cooked. Starfire and Robin seemed fine with it, however, chatting happily and munching on it. Suddenly, silence filled the room. I looked up from placing the china on the table. Raven stopped in the doorway.

"Morning," I said. "Want some breakfast?"

"Sure," she said, removing her hood to reveal her smile.

My heart leaped at thought that she was finally not angry with me. I think she saw that my eyes sparkle. She took her seat at the table and began to eat. Cyborg winked at me. I mouthed the words "Thank You," to him, then sat down to eat as well. Raven didn't talk much- she never did- but she did join in the conversation around the table a bit. I was glad that we were friends again. I beamed at her from across the table. She blushed slightly, then smiled back. Things were finally brightening up in my life, and I couldn't have been any happier.

(Meanwhile, Kison's POV)

"Kison, how is the plan coming along?" came the voice from the shadows.

"Great, sir. She's eating out of the palm of my hand," I said, smirking. "She has no idea of what's going on."

"Good. But we need her blood more quickly than we're getting it. If we are going to attack with more power, we need more blood."

"Yes'sir," I said.

"And, Kison, Remember who you're working for. Not just me."

"Yes, Slade, you, and Trigon."

(Raven's POV)

"I'm going out!" I called, pulling my hair back into a low ponytail, leaving some stray hairs around my face and the nape of my neck.

"When will you be back?" Beastboy asked, approaching me from behind.

I turned to him, making eye contact.

"Don't worry. I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Okay, I'll wait up."

"Beastboy, you don't have to-"

"Don't worry. I want to. I'm glad we're finally connecting again." He smiled at me.

"Okay," I nodded, then headed out the door.

About fifteen minutes later, I arrived at Kison's place. He was waiting for me, a frown upon his face.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Raven, I've been studying your emotions over the past while and... I'm afraid I will have to take alot of blood from you tonight. But first, you must take this medicine. It takes three hours to settle, then I will draw the blood."

"Okay," I said.

"Good," he said. For some reason, I felt as if I shouldn't be there any longer, but I ignored my mind's plea. "What do I do 'till then?"

I popped the pills in my mouth and swallowed them with one gulp of water. He smiled and sat on the bed.

"We could talk, if you wish."

"Well...um," I suddenly felt uncomfortable. His smile was different than before. I couldn't figure out what was different about it exactly. "There's really not much to talk about..."

"Then, how about you rest here, and I'll wake you up when it's time."

"Well... okay," I said, trying not to make eye contact with him.

I then lay on the bed and quickly fell asleep.

(Later, Raven's POV)

"Raven, wake up. We must take the blood now."

"Um... what? Okay," I said drowsily.

I already had this weak feeling throughout my body. Then I noticed that my arms were swollen, slightly redder than they should have been. I looked questioningly up into Kison's eyes.

"Don't worry. It's supposed to be like that."

He brought the flask underneath my arms and slashed my wrists, sending the warm, scarlet fluid down my skin and into the container. He kept filling up bottles. More and more and more... Soon enough, he had six jars full of my own blood. Then, he bandaged my hands back up.

"Raven, you'll be able to feel your emotions very, very soon. I promise you that. This blood will make it all possible for you. You can acheive anything you ever dreamed."

It sounded so nice. So wonderful. I felt good about giving my blood, even though I knew I shouldn't have. I was actually enjoying the fact that my hands were stained crimson from my own blood. I liked the feeling that I had let it run down and warm my hands and arms.

"You should return home now, Raven." Kison replied, helping me to my feet.

I dared to not let him know that I was a bit dizzy. He might have thought that I was too weak for him to help me. I nodded and headed out the door, where I took flight and headed back to the tower. It was so hard to fly when I felt so weak. I landed, after what seemed an eternity and stumbled into the living room. I felt as if I were going to vomit. Everything was blurry. This horrid feeling within my was making everything obscure and vague. I groped along the wall, figuring some tea might help this awful feeling go away. I opened the kitchen door.

(Beastboy's POV)

I looked up from the comic book I was reading to find shock rest upon my features. Raven was extremely pale, more than usual, and she didn't seem to have much a grasp upon reality.

"Raven?" I called, standing to head towards her.

She didn't seem to hear me. I called to her again.

"Herbal tea will help," she muttered, her eyes becoming misty.

I had an unsettling feeling in my stomach as she stammered to the counter, leaning all of her weight upon it. I called to her again, coming closer. This time, she realized I was there and looked up with me in sheer delirium.

"I will be... normal..." she said softly, then collasped.

I caught her, bringing her slowly to the floor. My heart began to strike against my ribs as I held her there. Something wasn't right. I knew that she wasn't ill. I saw that her gloves were astray, and, being curious, removed them. Her hands were bloodstained. I gasped and pulled up her sleeve to see bandages. I unwrapped them quickly to see fresh blood, still trickling down her arm.

"She's been... cutting herself..." I murmurred. "Is it because of me?..."

I felt guilt clinging to me, clutching my heart and threatening to make it explode. It had to be what I had said. But weren't we friends again? I rewrapped the wound and pulled the sleeve down, replacing the glove. I didn't want her to know that I had found out her secret. Suddenly, she began choking. A small, faint, red line washed from her lip down to her chin. Fear grasping me, I screamed out for the titans, hoping, praying they would hear me.

"HELP! HELP! RAVEN!" It was all I could say.

I could hear my friends coming. I just kept screaming. I felt my mind go into a haze, a frenzy of thoughts blending together. No, I wouldn't be responsible for another death of one of my friends. I wouldn't... be...

I felt tears as Cyborg slammed open the door. Starfire gasped in sheer horror. Robin quickly started shouting commands.

"Starfire, get Raven to the infirmiry! Cyborg, you-"

"Go help Star! I need to do something!"

Robin, too frantic to argue, shrugged and ran off after the red-head. Cyborg fell to his knees in front of me and grabbed my face, forcing me to make eye-contact with him.

"Beastboy. Can you hear me," Cyborg said, loudly, as if I might have gone insane.

Perhaps I had.

"Ya' gotta help her, Cy. Ya' gotta help her. Don't let'er die, Cy! Don't let'er die!" Seemed to be the only things escaping my throat. "I don't want it to be my fault! Please don't let her die!"

"Beastboy. Calm down, and listen to me," Cyborg replied in the same tone as before. "Raven's gonna be just fine. You need to calm down."

"U...uh-huh," I gasped, nodding my head quickly, but not believing the gesture.

"I need you to tell me what happened." He stated it in the same tone again.

"Sh-she stum-stumbled in here... and... passed out! I don't know! Just don't let her die!" I screamed in pure madness. "DON'T LET HER DIE!"

Then, everything went black. I heard Cyborg shout my name.

(A/N: Woah... my heart is beating fast from WRITING that chapter. That's so cool. I've never been this absorbed in a fanfic before. I hope you guys like it! Please review!)


	6. Chapter Six

Chapter Six

(A/N: Sorry if this chapter isn't great. I've rewritten it to get this. I've also been sick. Bleeeeh....)

(Beastboy's POV)

It almost didn't seem right. The silence after that rush wasn't right. I sat in the hospital area of Titans Tower, rubbing my aching head. The only thing that scampered in my mind was Raven, lying there, bloody and pale upon the floor. My heart fell to the pits of my stomach, it seemed, everytime I thought about it. I brought my legs up to my chest and rested my head upon them, hugging my knees. Suddenly, I looked up as Cyborg entered.

"Hey, good. You're awake."

"Is she...okay?" were the words that escaped my raspy throat.

"I'm not sure, man." Cyborg made his way over to the computer screen. "If you wanna see her, she's in the next room."

I stood quickly, only to waver and fall back onto the bed.

"Don't get up too quick," Cyborg chuckled.

I glared at him. This was no time for jokes- even I knew that- and that was saying something. I stood again, more slowly this time, and moved to the next room.

"R-Rae?" I whispered, suddenly nervous.

(Raven's POV)

I could hear my name echoing throughout the darkness of my mind. My eyelids slowly began to flutter, showing me different colored blurs, one green one standing out in my head. I blinked, taking in more detail, particularly what I found to be Beastboy, lingering over me, seemingly worried.

"B...Beastboy?" I murmurred, finding it hard to speak.

"Hey, there," he said softly, as if he were talking to a child with sensitive ears. "How ya' feeling?"

"Like Hell," I said, smiling slightly.

Beastboy grinned. That grin changed after a minute however, to a serious frown.

"So, what happened?"

"What... do you mean?" I knew exactly what he was talking about, but I didn't let on that I did.

"Why did you show up with slashes on your wrists, Rae," Beastboy said, surprisingly calm.

"I..." I couldn't tell him the truth. He might worry and follow me.

"You..."

"I was... injured... on the way back to the tower..." I hated lying to the changeling, but I felt the need to.

"You're lying!" Beastboy exclaimed. "You're lying to me!"

How was it that he could always see right through me? I avoided meeting his eyes.

"I... can't tell you..."

"Why not, Rae? If you've got a problem, there are better ways to stop the problem then what you're doing!"

Beastboy thought I was trying to commit suicide?

"I won't do it again," I said, wanting to satisfy him. "I promise."

"Look," he came very close to me- I could feel his breath upon my face. "If you ever think of doing that again... I'm here. You can talk to me. I won't joke with you over it or anything. I just don't want to see you hurt again..."

"Beastboy, please," I muttered, pushing him away.

He seemed surprised, but regained composure and nodded.

"Well, um... Cyborg will probably be in here in a minute to examine you. Uh... you need anything?"

"No, I'm fine. Thank you," I gave a small smile to say that I truly was thankful for his company.

He grinned that goofy smile and left the room. I felt guilty.

(Cyborg's POV)

"Okay, Rae. We're gonna have to attach these leads onto you so we can analyze your body functions. You'll have to be naked, though. Do you want Star or me to do it?"

"It's fine, Cyborg. I trust you know how to do it better than Starfire."

"Okay..." I hated to show that I was more nervous than she was.

I sat her up and slowly undid the black outfit that she wore. I began to attach the leads to her, very carefully placing them to where I wouldn't make her uncomfortable. Then I slowly laid her back down and covered her with the sheet, hanging her outfit up on some rungs on the wall. Raven seemed distracted.

"Problem?" I asked.

"Beastboy." Her answer came coldly.

"Ah," I said, typing on another computer to place it on the main computer. "What'd he do?"

"Nothing... that's the problem... He's acting so serious lately..."

"Yeah, I noticed that too. But he's been through alot. When you go through stuff like that, you change. Sometimes you change back over time, sometimes you don't. Give him some time- Maybe he'll be back to his old self again soon."

"Well, that's not really it... He's been acting different... around me..."

"Really?" I was interested now.

"Yes... he's been telling me to talk to him and getting really close and stuff..."

"Huh..." I muttered.

"Forget it," Raven sighed. "Don't worry about me."

"Whatever you say, Rae," I said, walking into the next room.

"Hey, Cyborg," Robin entered from another door.

"Yeah?" I said, trying to think as I read Raven's condition.

"How's Raven doing?"

"She's okay for now... but I think there's something going on that we don't know about. Not only with Raven, with Beastboy too."

"I thought so."

"What? You knew?"

"Of course," Robin smiled, sitting on the bed that Beastboy had occupied earlier. "I don't talk too much to them, but I listen to what goes on in this place- alot more than you guys know."

"You're not some kinda stalker dude, are you?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Cyborg, don't be stupid."

"Right, got it."

"Anyway, Raven keeps leaving. It's like she's doing something far away from here. I don't think it's good either. As for Beastboy, he's been sitting around the tower thinking for the past few days- which isn't like him, I hate to admit."

"Man, you ARE observant!" I exclaimed.

"I lived with Batman. I had to be observant."

"Good point," I stated, "Very good point. But what do we do about it?"

"Absolutely nothing," Robin sighed.

"But-"

"Beastboy could hear- heck- sense us watching him, and Raven knows when her privacy is invaded. If you wanna follow them around, feel free, but it won't last long."

"Then why'd you go and get me all curious about it?!"

"Because it's fun," Robin gave an uncharacteristic grin.

I rolled my eyes. "You're a real treat, Robin, a real treat..."


	7. Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

(Beastboy's POV)

The kitchen was clean and shining again. I had to admit, I had outdone myself in the cleaning. Still, I felt that I needed to clean the kitchen after leaving it in such a mess. Suddenly, I heard footfalls. I perked up and saw that Raven was up and walking again. Her cloak masked her face from anything she might have been feeling, but I caught her smile when she saw me. I waved slightly then went back to wiping down the counter. Before I could look up again, Raven was gone.

(Raven's POV)

"KISON!" I yelled, slamming open the door.

He looked up innocently, as if he didn't understand what had happened to me. I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, glaring into his eyes.

"You're trying to kill me!" I screamed.

"I told you that I would have to take alot of blood. You agreed to do this. I'm not TRYING to do anything," Kison's voice held a certain venom that made me back off.

"Is that all you need?" I said, suddenly finding my voice meek and soft.

"All the blood? Yes. But I'm still using it to make your antidote," Kison said, smiling, making me shudder.

"What's the catch," I muttered.

"For the antidote to work, you'll have to take this first." He dropped a small bottle of pills in my hand.

"Why should I trust you?" I growled, more paranoid than I had been.

"Raven," Kison moved in closely, grasping my shoulders, "Do you have any other chance of FEELING?"

I felt as if I had been slammed in the stomach by a fist. My breath caught in my throat. I turned away.

"I... don't..." I felt my weaknesses exposed once more, then felt the need to build up the wall that seperated me from all people.

"Then trust me. I love you, Raven. I would never want to hurt you."

I felt so distant from him, so unknowing, so utterly frightened of that look. I backed slowly away, closing my eyes.

"I'll be back in a week. I want my antidote then."

"Of course, dearest Raven. Then, perhaps, we shall meet again on different circumstances?"

"...I... Don't think so," I said quickly, running from him and flying back to the tower.

I entered the tower and found Beastboy finishing the comic book he had had the night before. I caught his eyes and he smiled shyly at me, making my face flush slightly. That bashful smile was different from his goofy grin. It had more meaning, sincerity. I nodded a hello and went to retreat to my room. He stopped me.

"Hey, Rae?"

"What is it?" I asked, turning to him, hiding the medicine in my cloak.

"You alright? You're not looking so good."

"I'm fine- just getting my strength back is all." I said, removing my hood. "I'm trying to get my blood flowing again."

"You sure?"

"Well..." I lowered my eyes to meet my feet. "I'm in a bit of a predicament. Cyborg says I should follow my heart... but I don't really know what my heart wants me to do."

"Oh..." Beastboy seemed to go into deep thought. "What's the problem?"

"I couldn't explain it if I tried, Beastboy... but... I'm flattered at your concern."

Beastboy fiddled with his hands sheepishly. "Uh... no problem, Rae.... Um... I kinda got a problem like that too. I don't know what my heart wants either..."

"Don't worry," I said. "I'm sure you'll figure it out soon enough."

"Yeah, I'm kinda workin' on it." He scratched the back of his head, grinning, causing that one fanged tooth to stand out. "I bet you will too."

"I hope so, B.B." I said, walking into my room, leaving him standing outside my door.

(Beastboy's POV)

Raven called me B.B.! I felt my heart swell at the fact that she did. She didn't hate me anymore! I laughed slightly and began to walk off when I ran into a large piece of metal. I hit the floor hard.

"Ow!" I yelled out.

"Sorry, little buddy," Cyborg said, offering his hand, "But you should watch where you're going. Anyway, mind if I ask you a question or two?"

"Uh... sure," I said. "Let's go walk out in the city."

As we made our way down the sidewalk, walking past different buildings and such, Cyborg remained silent, as if trying to think of a way to word his question.

"So?" I said, waiting for his interrogation.

"What's goin' on between you and Raven?" Cyborg sighed.

"Huh?" The question caught me off guard.

"You heard me," he smirked at me.

"Well... to be honest," I said taking a bench nearby, "I don't know..."

"Whaddya mean, ya' don't know?"

"I MEAN, I don't know! Raven and I haven't really been spendin' alot of time together, but we have become closer after the whole 'Terra' fiasco. I'm kinda curious as to what she's been up to. I'm worried. But it's her business, and she doesn't want me in it, I'm not gonna get myself killed to find out what it is. I told her she could tell me anything, and I know she will when she feels like it."

"Yeah, I'm sure she will, B. B..." Cyborg sighed, staring off into nowhere.

I watched people passing by, chatting and laughing about the weather and other events that went on in their lives. Something stood out to me, however. I saw a couple, holding hands and talking softly so that only the two of them could hear each other. The girl kissed the boy on the cheek, wrapping her arms around him. Without warning, I felt this pain inside of me, reverberating throughout my body, leaving a lump in my throat. I imagined the couple as myself and the young, happy, blonde woman that I had loved so dearly, Terra. I longed for that feeling of love- those small moments that meant the world to me and my beloved. I yearned for that bright happiness that lightened my heart. I watched them walk away, the tears gathering behind my eyes.

All of a sudden, I saw a change. It was no longer a blonde woman in my mind. I saw a young woman with cropped violet hair and sad eyes. She had this mysteriousness that called to me. Then, I realized that I was no longer seeing Terra, but Raven by my side, smiling softly at my jokes, making sarcastic comments. That lump in my throat was still there, growing with the pressure behind my eyes. My heart was calling out for someone, anyone to be there for me, to love me for who I was, like Terra did, but I found no one- no one except for Raven, but she had her own problems to worry about. I would have to wait. I would-

"Wait a minute," I thought, "WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKING?! DAAAH!"

Cyborg noticed my sudden jump. "Hm?"

"Nothing!" I beamed, almost knowing I had sparkles around me. "Well, um... we should head back, huh?"

"B.B., what were you thinking about just now?"

"NOTHING! LET'S GO!" I dragged Cyborg all the way back to Titans Tower, then raced to my room before he could see my red face.

"God, I look like Christmas," I muttered, looking in my mirror.

I sighed, wondering what I had been thinking, and placed my Simple Plan CD in my stereo. I then jumped onto my bed and screamed into my pillow, something I always did to relieve stress. The music and the muffling of the pillow made my scream seem nonexistant.

"I hate being confused!"

(Raven's POV)

"Oh," I muttered, staring at Beastboy's door. "He's listening to Simple Plan. He's stressed..."

I knocked slightly. I could hear the music lower in volume and Beastboy stepping towards the door. He opened it. He seemed surprised to see me.

"Yeah?" he squeaked.

"You're music is a bit loud. Are you stressed?" I asked.

"Uh... nope, just jammin' out!"

"Well... don't break the windows," I said, raising an eyebrow.

"Uh... sure..."

Well, that was peculiar. I walked away from Beastboy, still pondering his change in attitude. He was so flustered lately. I looked back to see him returning into his room. I watched until he closed his door. It was strange how many glimpses of each other we were catching. I thought about this for a few minutes and realized how much closer we kept getting. My eyes widened. How close could we get? Could we...?

"Hey, Raven," Robin said, coming out of nowhere.

"Ah!" I exclaimed, startled. "Don't do that!"

"Sorry. Have you seen Starfire?"

"No. Why?"

"Well, Cyborg told her about something- I'm not sure what- but I'm kinda worried as to where she went to investigate..."

"Well, I haven't seen her."

"Thanks anyway. By the way, what's going on between you and Beastboy?"

"NOTHING!" I yelled. "I wish you wouldn't ask about that. What do you want me to say?"

"Sheesh, I was just asking. Don't get emotional..." Robin glanced at a cup that rose slightly and placed it back on the table. "You're powers are on the fritz. That outburst should have lifted the couch or something."

With that, Robin left. I gasped. My powers were low- and I hadn't taken any of the pills yet. Something wasn't right. This puzzle was still complicated, however. I would have to do a little investigating of my own to figure out why my powers were stopping now.

"Hmm..."

(A/N: Another chapter finished. I found this one a little better than I thought it might be. Well, please review. I love getting reviews. Lol. Then, again, who doesn't? Well, that's all for now. I'll have the next chapter up soon!)


	8. Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight

(Raven's POV)

I placed the glass of tea on the table. I had finished my last pill. I stared at the glass, as if I were expecting it to do something. Something just wasn't right. I hadn't slept well all week just because of the paranoia I felt about having my powers finally taken away. Still, the offer seemed too wonderful to be true. It had to be too wonderful to be TRUE. Another side of me reasoned, however, that I was just being stupid and that I would finally be free.

"I... don't know what to do..." I muttered, pulling my hood up over my head.

"Go!" One side of me urged, while the other said, "It's dangerous. You can't!"

I was lost in spite of myself. I had no clue to which side I should choose- Take a risk and maybe lose my powers and finally be free, or stay home and possibly be restrained of my emotions forever. I sighed and sat at the table, stirring my finger in my herbal tea.

"Hey, Ravie," came a familiar voice.

I looked up suddenly to see Beastboy getting out the pots and pans to prepare breakfast. Wait... he called me Ravie? What was with the new pet-name? I raised an eyebrow. He only smiled at me.

"What'cha plannin' to do today?" he asked casually.

"Oh, I dunno," I breathed, "There's something I want to do... but I think it might be a bit dangerous..."

"Dangerous?" Beastboy put a pan down and came to sit next to me at the table. "What are you planning to do?"

"I-" I felt my defenses fall under his pressuring. "I'm not even sure I'm going to go."

"Go where? Raven, why do you always have to play this mystery thing?"

"Stay out of my business!" I snapped.

Beastboy was taken aback only for a moment. "Why should I? We're a team! We watch out for each other! Why-"

"Please, Beastboy, don't make this any harder for me..."

He got quiet. "Can you at least tell me why-"

"No... not right now.... I'll tell you when I'm ready to tell you."

"I see.... Well... um... do you want..." Beastboy seemed to be thinking every word over carefully. He never finished his sentence. "Nevermind."

"What?"

"Nothing... nothing..." Beastboy shuffled through the fridge to get tofu and soy milk.

"No really," I smiled, moving over to the fridge. "Tell me."

"I... no, it's nothing..."

"Beastboy," I placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Do you..." he turned to me, his face cherry red. "wanna... go..."

"GOOD MORNING EVERYBODY!" Cyborg yelled, entering the kitchen.

Beastboy quickly scampered back to the stove and began cooking. I sighed. Cyborg seemed to always interrupt Beastboy, and now I was curious as to what he was going to say.

"Tell me later," I muttered, then took my seat at the table again.

"Cyborg, don't yell," Robin said, cleaning out an ear.

"Good Morning, all!" Starfire exclaimed happily. "How is everyone?!"

"G'morning, Star," Beastboy said, beginning to chop vegetables.

"What are you cooking, dear friend, Beastboy?" Starfire asked, floating over to him.

"Breakfast," he answered back busily.

"It better not be that tofu-"

"Cyborg, please," I interrupted.

He looked at me for a minute, then sat down, not continuing his argument. Robin and Starfire took their seats as well. Breakfast was finished quickly and Beastboy began placing the food upon our plates. I ate it quietly and listened to conversations, as I usually did. Robin and Starfire talked and stared dreamily at each other- not realizing the staring part of course. Cyborg and Beastboy joked, though Beastboy's jokes seemed a bit half-hearted. I finished my food and placed my dishes in the sink. I turned on the water.

"I'll wash it," Beastboy intermitted. "Do what you need to do."

I nodded my thanks. I moved toward the kitchen door. I had decided it. I had feelings simmering inside of me, and I wanted to truly have those feelings- perhaps then I could understand this akwardness between myself and Beastboy. I had decided to go to Kison and risk danger. I turned back to the titans and watched them talking happily- even if I wasn't there. I felt a pain in my heart.

"G-goodbye..." I muttered.

Beastboy glanced at me. He waved very slightly. My face flushed and I turned to leave. I left the tower with a heavy mind.

(Kison's POV)

"She's coming," I said. "What shall I do after I weaken her?"

"Whatever you please," Slade said. "Her father just doesn't want her around."

"Fine..."

"Now, all you must do is inject her with this," Slade handed me a syringe filled with a red and black fluid. "It will leave her completely vulnerable. Take advantage of her if you wish."

"That seems like a good plan. She's alot like that blonde chick you lead astray, huh?"

"I suppose she is quite a bit like Terra, whether she admits it... or not..."

(Raven's POV)

"Kison." I stepped into the laboratory, my hood masking the glower I held on my face.

"Good, you're here," he said, almost too happy to see me. "I've got your antidote. Raven, you are going to be normal in a matter of minutes."

The words were still magical- every syllable lovely to my ears. I held my hand to my chest. I would FEEL... I sat on the bed and calmed myself. Kison approached me with the needle. I bit my lower lip. I would feel... I would feel.. I would FEEL!...

(Beastboy's POV)

I stared out the window. I couldn't explain what I was feeling, but it was bad. I closed my eyes and focused on this emotion. This lingering paranoia of Raven had me shaken on the inside. Whatever she had gone to do, I knew it wasn't safe. Still, I was too afraid to go after her. Why was I afraid? Hadn't I always been there for Raven? Hadn't she always been there for me? Why was I scared of her now?

"Beastboy, my friend, what bothers you?" Starfire asked, coming up behind me.

"It's... nothing..." I said softly, watching the ocean hit the rocks.

"Please, tell me, Beastboy. I would like to listen."

"It's just... I was gonna ask Raven something... but I never got to..."

"What were you to ask of Raven?" Starfire inquired sweetly.

"I was going to... no, nevermind." I shook my head and left Starfire in wonderment.

I moved into my room and closed the door behind me. My heart was calling, but nobody answered. A thought entered my head. Could she have... somebody? Could she be in love? A pain exploded into my body and I didn't know why. The pain lowered into a pressure that remained behind my eyes. Would it really matter if she was in love? It wasn't like I was-

"Wait..." I looked into my mirror in amazement.

How could it have not occured to me? Was I really too busy with Terra to realize what was right in front of me? I felt my face become wet. I hadn't even noticed that I had started crying. Raven was right there all along, through everything... and now, that paranoia... that pain that kept coming... that thought that said "she's never coming back" over and over again brought me to the floor.

"I... I'm such an idiot..." I muttered, my voice trembling. "I should go after her. But why do I think she's never coming back anyway?"

I wiped away the tears and slowly tip-toed out of my room, down the hall, and into Raven's room. I ran to her bedside table and lifted up the hand-mirror that had brought us closer. I lifted it up to my face and saw her. I saw Raven in a gray cloak, sobbing.

"Pain," the emotion said.

I dropped the mirror, having it bounce on the mattress.

(Raven's POV)

"Hey, what are you doing?" I asked as he jammed the needle into my arm.

I screamed out. He began laughing. I turned to him and stared at him in fear. His laugh became loud and triumphant. Suddenly, I could no longer stand. I fell to the floor in weakness.

"You... you... poisoned me..."

"I merely put you under paralysis. But that is all I need."

Kison grabbed me and slammed me against the wall, having me fall onto the bed. I yelped in pain, but found no answer except for Kison's sneer.

"You... you bastard..." I muttered. "You... tricked me..."

"Of course I did! You're way too easy to fool."

"D-DAMN YOU!"

He slapped my face and ripped my cloak from my shoulders, throwing it across the room. I understood what he was planning to do at that point, but I had no ability to stop him. His hands tore at my belt, causing the chain links to break and fall to the floor as well. The pain in my back was beginning to numb as I desperately tried to struggle. Alas, I found no way out. My body just couldn't move!

"Foolish bitch," Kison growled, tearing my outfit away from me.

I gasped and choked back sobs, knowing that I could not fight back. I closed my eyes tight. I saw him. Beastboy filled the darkness, grinning and smiling and laughing. His words filled my ears. "I'll always be here..." But he wasn't here... and it was my fault.

"BEASTBOY!" I screamed out, tears pouring down my face.

"Shut your mouth, wretch," Kison snarled, clasping a hand over my mouth.

I screamed to no one.

(Beastboy's POV)

Rain had begun to pour as I raced through the streets. My eyes wandered wildly as I looked for the gothic girl. I felt as if my heart would break through my ribs every moment I couldn't see her. That paranoia inside of me became worse and worse. I slipped in a puddle and hit the concrete. I cursed loudly.

"I c-can't find her.... No... I have to..." I got back up and began running again.

(Starfire's POV)

"Robin!" I exclaimed, rushing into the weight room where he and Cyborg were training. "Beastboy is gone!"

"Huh? So? He probably went to the arcad-" Cyborg started.

"He had water pouring from his eyes," I said, figuring it would be an important detail.

"What? He was crying?"

"Yes, I believe he was. Earlier, he wanted to ask Raven something. I do not know of the question, however..."

"A question?" Robin looked at me, puzzled.

"We gotta find him," Cyborg stated.

"Yeah, let's go."

With that, the three of us set out to find our green friend.

(Raven's POV)

"Stop!" I screamed. "Please! I'm begging you!"

I was at my last resort. Kison didn't listen to my cries and slowly began to play with my body. I still couldn't move.

"Why are you doing this?!" I asked desperately.

Kison became silent.

"Shut up!" he yelled, slapping me across the face again, "Just let me do as I want, now. It's too late for you, little bird. And don't think of your powers are of any use. They're gone."

"They're gone?" I asked, wide-eyed.

"The pills worked, stupid, but only temporarily. And your loss of blood also caused it. Where do you think you get your powers, moron?!"

"I... am no... moron..." I said, but I didn't believe it.

Kison smirked. I shrieked in pain as he went inside of me.

"NO! NO!" I kept shouting, but to no avail.

Kison began beating upon me with his fist as he raped me. I had no idea what to do. My powers were gone, my strength was gone... and now... the little bit of innocence that still remained... was gone...

After what seemed an eternity, he was through with me. He left me on the bed, gasping and choking in pain. It wasn't the pain in my lower body that brought my sobs, but the pain in my heart. I could feel the paralysis beginning to wear off. I slowly breathed as my muscles began to twitch.

"F-ck," I muttered, finally pulling myself up and feeling that horrid pain.

I silently pulled my outfit and cloak back on. My belt was trashed, so I merely carried it in one, shivering hand. I floated meekly back to the tower to find it empty.

"Hello?" I said, finding my voice low and soft. It seemed as if it would never rise again.

(Beastboy's POV)

"Beastboy!"

I looked up through my tears to see the T-car approaching. Cyborg opened the door.

"Get in. We're going back to the tower! This storm is gettin' really bad!"

"NO!" I yelled. "I gotta find Raven!"

"Look, we'll track her! GET IN, NOW!"

I gave in. Cyborg would resort to dragging me into the car otherwise.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Cyborg yelled.

I shrunk back and sniffed. Confidence returned for fear of Raven's safety. "F-ck off, Cyborg! We need to find Raven!"

"You... little..."

"Cyborg, let's just go," Robin interrupted.

We headed back to the tower.

(A/N: I think this chapter came out at a rocky start, but definately got better, in my humble opinion. I told you guys this was rated R. Now do you understand? Lol. Well, I hope you guys liked the chapter!)


	9. Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine

(Wow, another chapter already? I swear I'm addicted to this fic. I guess that's good, since my readers are too. Lol. Well, enjoy the chapter!)

(Beastboy's POV)

I haulted in the doorway of the tower, seeing Raven's belt upon the floor, broken.

"She's here," I muttered. "She came back..."

Cyborg put a hand on my shoulder. "Dude, why did you think she wouldn't?"

He was very forgiving, I had to admit. After my petty outbursts in the T-Car, I wouldn't have been surprised if he ignored me for the rest of the week, but he didn't. He was concerned about me and Raven. That was SO Cyborg.

"I... I don't know... I just felt weird about her leaving... I..." I felt that pressure behind my eyes again.

"B.B., does this have anything to do with... Terra?"

"No. It has nothing to do with her.... Terra... couldn't come back..." I walked away without saying another word to my robotic friend.

I held her belt in my hand as I made my way down the hall. Why was it broken? Since she had come back, why had I had that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach? Something bad happened to her, I knew that. I just needed to figure out what had happened. My ignorance of that tore me up inside. No, this wasn't about Terra at all, no matter what the others thought. Terra was gone, and I was finally fine with that. No, this was about Raven. This was about Raven and myself... and that was it. The others needed to butt out. I looked at the chain-linked chakrahs in my hand.

"These... look like they've been pulled apart... Did Raven do it? No, it's her belt... why would she?" Confusion reared it's ugly head again.

The only way for me to find out about what happened was to ask her myself, but this unknown fear had returned as well. I feared she might hate me once more, and I never wanted that again, not after all we had been through, and especially not after all that I had realized. I was such an idiot for not seeing her as who she was before. I ceased at her door. How many times had I stood outside this very door, I pondered. I lifted my hand to knock, but it made no impact with the entrance. My heart pounded against my chest, and my hands had become sticky with sweat. I couldn't do it! Even if I had knocked on her door thousands of times, I couldn't do it! I swallowed that fear, breathing in heavily and rapped upon the metal door.

(Raven's POV)

Bang! Bang! Bang!

I looked over at the door, shrouded in the darkness of my room. I didn't answer back. I wished to speak to no one. A fool such as I did not deserve company- that had been proven. I sat on my bed, then fell to my side, feeling the silky sheets against my face. I was contemplating what I should do. There wasn't much to do. I had been betrayed...

Again...

"Raven? You there? Hello?" I heard a muffled voice.

"Beastboy..." I muttered.

"I know you're there... and I don't know why you don't wanna talk to me.. but I'm sure it's my fault... and if there's anything I can do... to make it up... well... um... all ya' gotta do is ask..."

I curled up on my bed, just trying to disappear. I couldn't make anyone happy- not even myself! I squinted my eyes tight, for when I shrivled to the position I was in, a pain blasted throughout my lower body. I sucked in a large amount of oxygen at that.

"Please... whatever I might have done... I'm sorry."

I couldn't take his pleading any longer. It ripped at my heart when he talked like that I stood slowly.

"I-it's not... your fault..."

I heard silence from the other side of the door. Had he walked away?

"I-It's not your fault," I said again, a bit louder.

The door opened, taking me by surprise. Beastboy wasn't usually so bold to open my door without asking. I took a few steps backward, cascading most of my body in the dark corner of my room.

"Raven?"

"Please... I don't want you to feel bad for something you didn't do..."

"Raven... your voice... it's so sad.... What's the matter?"

I wanted desperately to run to him and cry into his chest, screaming about what had happened to me in the past few hours, but an unknown fear kept me back. He told me to be careful in danger, and if he knew what I had risked... would he hate me? I felt tears roll down my cheeks, tears that he couldn't see.

"Raven, talk to me," Beastboy's voice came softly.

"Just... leave me alone for awhile..."

"Why?" He approached me.

"GET BACK!" I screamed, sending him flying with my powers, which had unexpectedly returned.

Beastboy skidded across my floor, then arose again, that agonizing look still upon his face. He began to approach me again. I gasped. He wouldn't stop until he got to me.

"S-stay... away..." I whispered.

But he didn't stop. He refused to run from me for some reason. He held his arms out in gesture that he would not hurt me, but I knew that. Still, that panic of his hatred haunted me to my bones.

"Raven, what the hell is wrong with you?" Beastboy asked, his voice harsh, but still soft.

I bit my lip, unable to stop the salty tears from pouring down my face. I had given up trying to hide because my I knew that if I continued this charade, I would surely die under pressure.

"I... I met this guy..." I whispered.

(Beastboy's POV)

"G-guy?" I felt as if my world had shattered beneath my feet.

"Yes..." her voice was so soft that I had to listen closely, my breathing very soft and very slow.

"An...and?" I returned.

"He... he told me... that he loved me..."

"Yeah?" I squeaked.

"And that... he would... set me free... from my powers," Raven's voice had become shakier than before.

I breathed out. "And?"

"He...he lied..." Raven's voice withered away.

"Oh, Rae, I'm sorry..."

"I didn't cut myself."

My eyes widened. "You didn't?"

"He did. He said that my blood would be used to create an antidote... I look back at it now and realize how blatantly obvious it was that he was lying." She sighed. "I'm such a fool. I should have never listened to him... Please... don't hate me..."

"Hate you? Why would I-"

"Because you told me not to put myself in danger, not to get hurt, and I did! Again!" Raven yelled.

"He hurt you?!" I growled, anger rising in my soul.

"It's my fault, Beastboy..."

"What did he do?!"

(Raven's POV)

Beastboy grabbed my wrist and pulled me out of the shadows before my tears has ceased. I gasped and desperately tried to escape to my home in the dark. His grip tightened and he gazed into my eyes, that fury burning within the dark green orbs.

"What... did... he... do?!" he demanded once more.

"He..." I felt my eyes trail downward.

He followed my eyes and let go of my wrist.

"He raped you... he f-cking raped you, didn't he?!"

I stared at him, not knowing what to say. I wasn't sure if I believe it was true, myself.... Still, I nodded, not wanting that denial. I expected Beastboy to lash out at me for doing such a thing, putting myself in such dangers.

"Oh, my God... Raven..."

I clenched my fists, biting my lower lip so hard that it bled. My nails dug into my palms. my legs began to shudder violently. More tears fell from my eyes. I felt so cold and alone, so lost in the ebony world that I had once called my own. That icy feeling that chilled me suddenly melted as I was pulled in close to Beastboy. He held me tightly, as if I would fall if he didn't. I probably would have, truthfully.

"I... am so... sorry... Rae..." he whispered.

"But... you didn't..."

"Deja vu, huh?" came his voice softly again. I could sense his smile.

"Beastboy... will you forgive... me?"

"Raven, you shouldn't feel sorry. It's not your fault..."

"I... I just wanted to be... free.... Is it so much... to want... to be happy?" I began sobbing uncontrollably. I could feel things raising around me. "To be sad? Hell, I wish I could feel ANYTHING!"

"Raven..."

"I... I've been like this since I was born. I wasn't even allowed to see my own MOTHER!" My nails scratched his outift. "Did I really deserve this fate?!"

"No... no you didn't..."

I looked up at the green-skinned teenager. His face was emotionless, but his eyes told a story, a story of regret... a story of sorrow... a story of... of... love? I pulled away from him and unhooked the chakrah from my cape, letting it fall to the floor. I unzipped the back of my black outfit and turned, showing the many bruises that Kison had caused upon my body. I closed my eyes and pulled my outfit back.

"He beat me up..."

"Why didn't you fight back, Rae?"

"Because he gave me a fake antidote and put me under paralysis...."

"This guy really messed things up..." Beastboy growled.

"No kidding. Beastboy... I'm... I'm not innocent anymore! I'm such a foolish bitch!"

"Raven, you are no bitch. You can go a bit overboard with the quiet thing, but that doesn't matter. You're no demon. You're no fool. You are... an angel. You make people happy, more people than you know.... You... make me happy..."

I felt my heartbeat increase. I turned to him, the final tears shedding from my blurry eyes.

"I... I do?"

"Yeah... you do.... If anyone's an idiot here, it's me. All this time, I've been 'Terra this, Terra that,' and I never noticed... that Terra wasn't coming back for me. She's where she belongs... finally... and... I belong here... with you..."

I smiled for what seemed the first time in an eternity. He beamed at me. Suddenly, my knees went week and the world began to spin. So much emotion.... It was overwhelming. I felt the world pulling me down. Everything blacked out. I smiled, relaxed that I had finally gotten all my problems off my chest. Silence...

(A/N: Yay! Romance! Well, sorta. ::HEYLOOOOOOO!:: That is my friend Sam. She is obsessed with this fic as much as I am. That's another reason this fic is constantly updated, so thank her too. Anyway, she's going to start posting here too, starting with her very own, present-day INUYASHA FIC! Yay for her! It's funny, and I've added a few of my own jokes to the fic myself. -shrug- Anyways, I hope you guys liked that chapter. I know I did. Please review! Thanks for your support! You guys rock!)


	10. Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten

(A/N: I GOTTA NEW COMPUTER! YAAAY!)

(Raven's POV)

For the first time it seemed, I woke up relaxed. I let out a sigh of comfort as I snuggled in my silky red sheets and warm violet comforter. Everything just felt… nice. I closed my eyes again and basked in the gloriousness of my bed, healing the horrid pain in my lower body and in the bruises I had acquired. Still, that didn't matter at the moment. All I wanted was to stay in that moment forever. Still, as I lay there, seemingly happy, I had tears pouring down my face. I thought I had tried to forget after the kindness shown by my teammate, but the pain just wouldn't go away. I felt so idiotic, so stupid, so… so utterly incapable of trust. I trusted anyone, and they turned around and stabbed me in the back- or raped me. I squeezed myself into the fetal position, not caring about the pain reaping upon my body and soul, being that nothing could compare to the pain I already felt. I jumped when I heard the door open and pulled the covers rapidly over my head.

"Rae? It's me," I recognized as Cyborg's voice.

"What," I growled.

"Well, um… I was wondering if you knew where Beastboy was."

"He's gone?!" I gasped, sitting up straight.

"Yeah. Calm down. He left a note that he was going out and I haven't seen him. I was just wondering where he went."

"I…I don't know…" I sighed, looking away.

"Somethin' wrong?"

"Not anything I want to talk about," I groaned.

"Uh… well… um… okay…"

"Bye," I said harshly.

I sensed Cyborg's surprise before the sound of his feet clanking against the floor and the door closing caught my ear. I couldn't explain it. When did I become such a bitch? I wanted to apologize, but I feared my tears would either remain or return as I spoke. Then I would have to tell him everything or lie. I wanted to do neither. Still, I got out of bed and grabbed some clothes out of my closet- not a copy of my original uniform however. I couldn't stand the pain below so I decided on some baggy cargo pants and a black t-shirt. I decided on no underwear except for my bra. I walked slowly into my bathroom and placed them on the small dresser in there. Then, I proceeded to strip down and take an ice cold shower. I closed my eyes and let the freezing water consume me, melting my even more arctic soul.

"Take me away from me…" I whispered to myself.

(Kison's POV)

"How is the conversion coming, Trigon?" I asked, approaching the man disguising the demon.

"It is almost complete. Then she will be destroyed, since her mother has already suffered that fate." Trigon spat at the thought of his daughter.

"Good. Slade, when do we move out?"

"As soon as the conversion is done," I could sense Slade's smirk.

I returned his excitement. The titans needed to be disposed of… immediately. I slammed my fist to my palm.

"I can't wait. Heh."

(Raven's POV)

"Hey, Rae, nice outfit," Robin said.

"Yeah," I returned, not really caring of Robin's opinion of my clothes. "I guess."

"Raven, are you okay? You're not… yourself lately…"

"How do YOU know who I am?" I spat.

Robin held his hands up in defense. "We're just… worried is all…"

"Forget it," I muttered, moving toward to the top of the tower to…sadly…meditate.

(Robin's POV)

I looked over at Starfire who was sitting next to me on the couch. She shook her head. She didn't understand Raven's sudden attitude either. She clasped her hands on top of each other, by her heart.

"I do hope she is okay…"

"I…I'm sure she will be, Star. I still can't help but wonder why she doesn't trust us with her problems."

"Beastboy worries me as well…. Robin, I believe he has ventured to Terra's grave to speak to her. I wonder what troubles him so?"

"I have a pretty good idea," I said, knowing that it was Raven. "And I'm gonna do something about it."

"Perhaps I should speak with Raven?"

"I don't think that's a good idea…"

(Beastboy's POV)

"Hey, Terra. It's me again…" I murmured, entering the room that was covered in concrete and rubble. A statue of my once beloved stood out among the stone.

Silence filled the air as I took yet another step toward the figure. I felt tears pouring down my face, just seeing her in that state, posed helplessly, forever. I took a seat on the ground beside her.

"It's been awhile, I know. I've been kinda busy. Terra… I'm really scared for Raven. I know you guys didn't like each other that much, but you guys are a lot alike, ya' know?" I rested my head on my knees. "I've been thinking a lot lately, after what happened to Raven-I guess you know since you're kinda… up there in Heaven an' all."

"…"

"I'm really confused, Terra. I mean… I've been trying so hard to take care of her… but she's just… out of my reach, ya' know. I think she always has been… but I wanna be there for her…"

"…"

"Terra, I've got these weird feelings around her now. I dunno. I feel like I'm betraying you. I mean… I… I dunno what I mean!" I buried my face in my lap, my hands covering my head.

"Beastboy, calm down. You're not betraying me."

I gasped, jumping up. I swore I had heard Terra's voice at that moment.

"Who's there?!"

"Silly, it's me," her voice reverberated off the walls.

Slowly, so slowly, I turned around, seeing the girl I once loved, standing in all-white clothing. Translucent wings seemed to be behind her. She smiled that smile that I had come to know so very well. Her honey-suckle blond hair swayed behind her and held around her face, bringing out those deep, ocean blue eyes.

"T-terra…" I whispered.

"That's right. I've been listening to and watching you, Beastboy. I know what your heart wants."

"My heart… wants?" My hand rested upon my chest as I approached her with hushed breath.

"Beastboy… I'm gone… and I'm happy that you've finally moved on. I still love you, but I proved that by giving my life for you…"

"What are… what are you saying?"

"It's okay to love again, Beastboy. It's okay to feel those feelings again! Don't hold yourself back from someone just because you're still loyal to me…. Beastboy, I love you, but I'm not gonna let you suffer." A few tears fell down her cheeks. I reached to wipe them away, but went right through her, sending a chill up my spine. "And you can't let Raven suffer either."

"She's really scared right now," I muttered. "I don't think we could ever--"

"Beastboy, don't think! Go on impulse!" Terra was right. I wasn't the best at thinking anyway.

"Terra… I love you…"

"I love you too. But that's over now…. Someone else is waiting for you…"

I had tears in my eyes, but for some reason, I was no longer feeling such pain as I had since her death. Terra had told me that it was okay. It was fine that I had moved on. I couldn't have been happier that she had accepted me… and Raven too.

"I'll get her…" I whispered as Terra vanished into the darkness. "I won't make the mistake of letting her get away… like you did… Terra…"

I dusted myself off and made my way back up to the surface, onto the city sidewalks. A few people waved at me, knowing that I was a Teen Titan, but most were used to me walking around. I felt a cool breeze picking up. Everything just felt so relieving. It was as if I had started life over without a care in the world, but I knew that problems were still afoot. They were underlying my happiness at the moment. I shoved my hands in my pockets, being that I was wearing a white t-shirt and some baggy blue jeans that day, and headed back up the tower, enjoying what the world had to show.

(Starfire's POV)

"Oh, HELLO, dear friend, Beastboy!" Starfire exclaimed as I entered the tower. "How are you this fine morning?"

"I'm good, Star."

"Robin and I are to travel to the mall of shopping to buy things. Do you wish to come along?"

"Uh… no thanks, I'm fine. Hey, uh… have you seen Raven?"

"She has ventured to the top of the tower for meditation. She is quite furious, however. Be forewarned."

"Right… I will…" I scratched the back of my neck and headed up the stairs to the top of the tower.

(Raven's POV)

I was sitting in my own world, surrounded by all the emotions that remained trapped inside me. One, dressed in pink, smiled wildly and waved at me. One, dressed in gray, sulked, eyes half-lidded. One, dressed in green, was cracking her knuckles. The rest held different traits, all sitting in one circle around me entirely.

"Concentrate," I said, "Concentrate… concentrate…."

They swirled around me, whispering, "concentrate" repeatedly. Their voices surrounded me, masking me from anything else I could hear, including the faint voice trying to get through to me. With each breath, I could feel a small bit of pain growing within me.

"Anger… ANGER… **ANGER**!" a voice began screaming over the small whispers of my other emotions.

I gasped.

"That's right," the red cloaked woman whispered to me. "You hate Kison. You hate him. Now, let it consume you…"

"NO!" I yelled, blasting it back into its corner.

Suddenly, I could see another emotion, one I had never seen before, arise. Her cloak was black and red, and her makeup seemed a bit… overdone.

"What about Beastboy?" she said in a sultry tone. "How does he make you feel?"

"I..I don't know…"

"I do…. I'm what you feel…"

"What are… you?"

"Lust…" she said, then giggled a strange little giggle that I had never heard before.

"Lu-lu…." I blushed wildly.

"RAVEN!"

I let out a loud squeak, surprising the both of us. My heart almost seemed to burst through my ribs at the site of Beastboy. He jumped back.

"Woah, you okay?"

"Yeah-yeah! Fine…" I gasped. "Just… a bit lost in meditation… Yeah…"

"Raven… there's something I need to tell you…. Can we go somewhere?… Somewhere where we'll be alone?"

"Uh… sure, okay…" I felt my face warm and followed him downstairs into the living room.

"Where's Cyborg?" Beastboy asked, seemingly off subject.

"I think he went out looking for you a while ago…"

"So… we're alone…"

"Alone…" I said, burning up inside.

He turned. "Raven… I've been doing a lot of thinking lately."

"Oh, God," I thought. "What's he gonna say?! Beastboy thinks only when its important!" But the only thing that came out of my mouth was, "Yeah?"

"Yeah…. I even went down below the ground… to Terra's grave…"

I felt my heart beginning to shred itself apart.

"And she spoke to me…"

"Like… she was a ghost?"

"More like an angel… but… that's not the point."

"Okay…"

"Raven. She told me that I needed to quit being loyal to her…. To trust my own feelings…. To love again…"

"A-and?…"

"Raven, I… I don't know when this happened… but… I… well… I…" Beastboy turned bright red, obviously nervous.

"Beastboy," I said. "You don't have to be anxious around me. Whatever it is you wanna tell me…(I took a long breath.) I'm sure I'll understand."

"Raven…I… I…" Beastboy began to find a lot of interest in his shoe lace.

"You…" I provoked.

"I…"

I felt impatience growing, especially with this new emotion, Lust, screaming things into my ear that made me blush.

"OUT WITH IT!"

Then, suddenly, I felt my world stop. Beastboy's heart was beating against mine, and things were beginning to float around us. I opened my eyes, no understanding what was happening to me. I tried to speak, but only gave a small muffled sound against his lips.

"He's… he's kissing me!" I thought, exasperated. "Does he love me?"

Tears began spilling out of my eyes, unstoppable as my hands moved up his back. His arms wrapped around my back and pulled me closer. One of my legs slipped in between his during this and I could feel his member against my thigh, making those things that Lust was saying even more riveting. I no longer cared what was going on around me, because I wasn't aware of it. Everything had gone into a white haze, with the exception of Beastboy- oh, he was there, definitely. I felt my knees beginning to shake when I was sat down on something, probably the couch, but I wasn't sure. All I knew was that his lips hadn't left mine yet, and I was so happy that they hadn't.

(Beastboy's POV)

Everything seemed… so right…. I wasn't sure what had caused me to lunge at her like that or what she'd do after this was over, but she seemed to be liking it, so I kept on. Her lips were so soft and warm. I could feel everything she held inside her, her insecurities, her emotions, her everything. She was my everything. My hands softly began to move over her body. I could feel her shiver involuntarily at my touch. I felt her fingers moving through my hair and so many different things floating around me in the vicinity. I didn't care, as long as I could stay like this, I didn't care. I could die of loss of oxygen, but there was no way I was going to let her go now…. Not when I finally had her.

(Raven's POV)

I wasn't sure what I was doing anymore. My tongue slid in between his lips and began to explore his mouth. He let out a soft sound of surprise, then melted into me, his tongue dancing with mine in a slow, but fiery, passionate dance. I felt a cold sweat break out on my skin and my nipples hardening, but I didn't move. I couldn't. I wouldn't.

"Do you feel it, Raven?" came Lust's voice. "He's yours. Make him yours. Be his."

"Shut up," I mentally told her. "I can handle this."

"You want him, Raven. You want him so badly…. Take him. TAKE HIM!"

"No. This is fine. I like this!"

"Yes, but you can like it more! Take control, Raven!"

"I have control, now quit PESTERING ME!"

Lust's smooth voice wouldn't leave. I knew I would lose complete control if I continued this, so, with a heavy heart, but heavier lungs, I pushed him back, our lips parting after what seemed minutes. The white haze vanished and I saw Beastboy smiling at me…

Then I saw Cyborg behind him, completely aghast.

(A/N: I honestly don't think this was a very good chapter… I don't know… I didn't have much to work with in the beginning, but the end was good. I love the fact that Cyborg saw their little snog session, and I can't wait to write his reaction. Sorry for the long update! Mwah Mwah! Please review!)


	11. Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven

(Raven's POV)

"Eh-Uh-Cyborg!" Beastboy jolted out of my arms and over the side, but it was too late- He had seen the whole thing- "What are you doing here?"

"Uh… hmm… lemme think about that… How about… watching you two MAKE OUT!" Cyborg burst into mischievous giggles.

"Cyborg…" I gave him a warning look.

"B.B.! How could you do that?! You know how Raven's emotions work! Look! This whole place is trashed!" Cyborg quickly switched focus.

I looked around and saw that Cyborg wasn't kidding. Things were askew and astray and bent and broken. I was speechless… utterly speechless… Beastboy looked over at me, not saying a word, but his eyes saying it all, "How'd you do THAT?" I bit my lip tightly, holding back tears of rage, aimed at myself.

"Who CARES, Cyborg?! It's just a little damage! We can fix it!"

"That's not the POINT, Beastboy."

"So what IS the point, Cyborg," I muttered, hiding my eyes with my hair. "That I'm not ALLOWED to FEEL?"

"Wha- NO! That's not it at all… Eh heh… Eh heh heh…" He was looking at the objects whizzing around, and very close to, his head.

I stood. The objects went back down. "Ya' know what? Forget it! None of this ever happened!" I was smiling, but my voice was choked and croaky.

"Raven…" Beastboy whispered.

"I said forget it!" I said with stifled breath.

"But Rae-" Cyborg began.

"I SAID FORGET IT!" I screamed. "It would never work! **FORGET IT**!"

Beastboy grabbed my shoulders, and for the first time in his life, he said, "No."

"Wh-what?"

"I refuse to let you walk away from me right now. I'm not afraid to admit it anymore. I love you, Raven." Beastboy squeezed my shoulders tightly. Cyborg watched like a spectator.

"I would say that I love you, too… but I can't."

"What?" Beastboy's eyes widened.

"LOOK AROUND YOU, BEASTBOY!" Tears became visible to Cyborg and Beastboy. "All my life, this is what love has gotten me. NOTHING! Nothing but destruction! I WISH I could love you back, but I can't. It's completely and UTTERLY IMPOSSIBLE!"

My entire body was trembling. I clutched my fists tightly and moved out of Beastboy's grip, almost losing ground. It was the hardest thing I had ever done.

"I wish you both could understand that…"

"Oh," I heard Starfire sigh. The couple was standing in the doorway. Robin had an arm around Starfire. Both looked shocked.

"I envy you so much," I said softly, then pushed past them, into my room, where I blocked the door.

I was shaking so hard now that I thought my bones would fall apart. I sat on my bed and let the trembling consume me. My emotions were whirling around so quickly in my head that I didn't know what I was feeling at all.

"If I caused that much damage… I can never love him back…" I began choking on sobs, falling to my side on my bed. I clutched the sheets and let the hot tears pour down my cheeks and the objects whiz around me. "Mother… MOTHER…. Help me! Help me, please! Don't let me be alone… Don't let me be alone…" I continued whispering and sobbing until I fell asleep.

(Beastboy's POV)

I stood there, the same spot Raven had left me. How could I have been so stupid? I knew that her emotions would do that! Why did I have to complicate things for her? I sat down on the floor, the same spot that I was in, and rubbed my temples, trying to think of a way to apologize without going near her, for fear her hatred might overpower me.

"Oh, God," I thought. "She hates me again…"

"Hey, man, this is my fault. I-I'm sorry," Cyborg said tenderly, reaching for my shoulder.

I slapped his hand away. "No, it's not! It's mine! It's ALWAYS been my fault! Don't you get it, Cy? Even if she wanted to love me, she couldn't because of her stupid father! I gave up Terra for her. Now she hates me again… But I still love her none the less…"

"But B-"

"I guess I'm just doomed to kill time while I wait for loved ones that can never come to me to actually come back. It doesn't matter. I guess I'm used to it…" I got up and walked away, into my room, where I shut the door, turned on my Simple Plan CD- the volume to its maximum- and ran for my bed.

(Starfire's POV)

"Oh, Robin!" I yelped at the sight. "What causes them such ill will, such pain?"

"It's a little thing called love, Star. I always figured this would happen sooner or later, but I never really thought of the consequences…"

"Damn," Cyborg muttered, sitting on the couch. "What the hell am I gonna do about this one? We can't just leave 'em like that!"

"Cyborg, we can't do anything-"

"Yes, we can. We've gotta help 'em… somehow…"

I fiddled with my fingers. "Raven spoke of envy to us, Robin. Does she envy us?"

"She envies our relationship, Starfire. She wants to be like that."

"Like what?" I asked, confused.

"…Nevermind that for now, Star," Robin said, his face growing red.

(Beastboy's POV)

I opened my eyes. They were sore from being so wet and slammed against my pillow for so long. It was a wonder that I didn't suffocate. My CD player read the number thirteen and was no longer playing. It had obviously stopped a while ago. I stared at the clock and found that I had fallen asleep until now, four a.m. I sighed and kicked my legs over the bed, completely exhausted, even if I had been asleep for almost all day. I ran a hand through my hair and made my way out of my room and out the front door. I carefully navigated over the rocks until I reached the shore where I took a seat and watched the ocean sway and settle below my feet.

"How long are you gonna stay out here, whimpering you stupid dog?" I asked myself, feeling lower than low.

"But really…"

"Huh?" I turned and saw Raven standing behind me, wearing the same clothes as she had earlier. Obviously, she had done a lot of thinking and crying too, due to the redness in her eyes. "Raven…"

"I'm sorry," she said, her eyes wandering from my form. "I just… freaked out…"

"You had every right to, Rae. I'm such a jerk… I didn't even think about-"

"You shouldn't have to, Beastboy," she croaked.

"Rae…"

"I shouldn't have to either… but I do. This is what I've been afraid of. This is why I'm distant… Because if I feel anything for anybody, I could kill them… and I never want that to happen…"

"Raven, I want you to know something," I said, standing and taking her in my arms as the stars began to fall in the sky.

"Y-yes?" Her voice was hushed and beautiful.

"I don't care what you could do to me if you loved me. If you could kill me, then God forbid I die in your arms. I love you that much…and I will NEVER… EVER… let you go…" I tightened my arms around her, knowing this as truth.

"Be…Beastboy… I…" Raven quit talking, but I knew what she wanted to say. Her arms slipped around my waist.

We stood in silence for a while. I wasn't sure how long. It could have been hours; it could have been seconds. It seemed like eternities.

"If I do kill you, I could never forgive myself," her voice came meekly.

"If you killed me, I'd die happy. There would be nothing to forgive…"

"You're such a romantic," she let out a small chuckle.

I grinned. "Yeah, I am."

"I'd kill myself…"

"Now who's the romantic?"

She nuzzled my neck and smiled. We stood in each others arms for another time. Finally… I had found what I had been searching my soul for. She had always been right in front of me too….

"Raven? What do you want out of life?" I asked in the dark.

"Freedom…" I felt bad for asking the question until she laughed slightly. "I suppose you'd be the one to give that to me, correct?"

"I would do everything in my power to do so."

"You have no power," Raven's voice twitched with sarcasm.

"Yeah, I do. In my heart…"

"Shut up," Raven said, and I could hear the love in her voice. "You're so hopeless."

"Shhh…" I whispered. "Let's just stay quiet for a minute…"

"Okay…"

Silence followed, words speaking through our beating hearts. I could hear her breathing and feel her heartbeat. She pulled away slightly and stared into my eyes, her indigo orbs sparkling with the stars that were disappearing into the morning sky. She smiled at me, something that was rare in the light. Then, she stood on her toes and pressed her lips to mine. I felt as if something had exploded within me. Just something so simple, that small meeting, was absolutely incredible. There was no tongue. There was no spit. It wasn't a sexy, movie kiss. It was a kiss of admiration, of thanks, of true, pure love that nothing could break. We were one. I could feel her shivering in fear and chill. I wrapped my arms around her waist to tell her that it was all right. She stopped quivering. Our lips parted momentarily, long enough for me to see the tears upon her cheeks.

"Why are you crying now?" I asked, frightened.

"It was beautiful," she said softly, "what just happened…. I… I felt it…"

She lay her hands over her heart as the warm glow of the sunrise began to fall upon us. In that marvelous, golden light, with those sparkling tears and fair skin, flowing violet hair and long eyelashes, I didn't think I could be anymore awed by her beauty. She was incredible- and that was an understatement. I couldn't speak, for no words could come. Her beauty almost mocked her inner soul, ripped and bruised. Now I was crying, but I was happy.

"We should go back inside," she whispered. "The others may wake up soon…"

I walked up to her and took her hand, lacing my fingers with hers.

"Why don't we just get outta here for a little while?" I asked.

"You know… I think that sounds… nice…"

"Great! Let's go," I said, pulling her with me across the rocks.

I stopped as Raven took flight and pulled me up with her, grabbing both my wrists. She smiled again- her smile was so lovely.

"I'll never let you go either, Beastboy," she said. "Even if it kills me…"

She pulled me in close to her and we flew over the ocean, a deep orange-red due to the sunrise. I never liked sunrise, but now… It was my favorite part of the day.

"Hey, Rae… I love you…"

"I love you, too…"

(A/N: Oh, I hope that wasn't too fluffy! ::dodges rocks and stuff:: I don't want fluff to ruin this fic. Please, tell me if it's too sweet and I'll fix the chapter. ::big teary eyes:: I'm sorry if it was! I was listening to "Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane and got carried away! Hello, Dark Fairy! Just had to give a shout out to you since you've been so nice. Mwah! See you next chapter!)


	12. Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

(Raven's POV)

Finally.

Things were going right for me. The first time in my life, I was truly happy, truly loved, truly perfect in someone's eyes. Somebody understood me, and it made me feel… normal…. I watched Beastboy moving about the kitchen, happily making breakfast as he always did. Neither of us had slept, but we both felt very alive. I sat at the table and just smiled at him over my herbal tea. I sipped it softly as the titans slowly made their way in, looking defeated. They stopped and saw the two of us and stared.

"What?" Beastboy asked. "Problem?"

"What are you two doing up so early… er… together?" Cyborg asked rather uncomfortably.

"Beastboy and I had a long talk earlier." I said, folding my hands, lacing my fingers.

"And now we're together!" Beastboy grinned.

"What?!" Cyborg exclaimed. He looked at me for reassurance. I nodded, fighting back the urge to laugh, knowing my eyes were twinkling with delight.

"Mmhmm."

"Wow," Robin said, eyebrows lifted. "I actually didn't expect that."

"Glorious!" Starfire exclaimed, throwing herself at me in a large bear hug. I nearly fell down from her strength and weight, but I was so happy that I didn't care. I hugged back.

(Beastboy's POV)

I had never seen that look in Raven's eyes. It made me want to cry in sweet delight. A luminous glow had replaced that dull, cloudy look she always held in her eyes. I kept watching her as she let Starfire swirl around her in happiness.

"Uh… B.?"

"Hmm?" I asked dreamily.

"Breakfast's burnin'."

"Huh? DAAAAAH!" I jumped toward the stove and tried to cool the burning tofu.

All the titans proceeded to laugh. I even laughed. We were a family, all of us. I hoped that it would stay that way forever. Everything was just… perfect.

(Raven's POV)

Titan's Movie Night had finally finished. Sure, I may have fallen in love with Beastboy, but his taste in movies still stunk. I rolled my eyes, making my way back to my room, the green titan at my heels.

"Hey, Rae, Whaddya wanna do tomorrow?"

"Let's just rest tomorrow, hm?" I asked, turning. "I could use some… besides… I need to meditate." Those four words still hurt me deep down, reminding me of the foolery I had fallen under and how stupid I had been.

"Oh, um… okay. That sounds good. Maybe we can even go for a walk when the sun sets." He smiled.

"That would be nice," I said, returning his smile and stepping into my room. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," Beastboy returned rather sheepishly. I closed my door.

On the other side of my door, I still felt fluttery and happy, though my room was so dark. I hopped onto my bed and lay flat on the mattress, staring up at the ceiling, thinking over the latest events.

"It's amazing," I thought. "It's amazing how tragedy can bring such hope into someone's life…"

(Beastboy's POV)

"Hey, B.B., for someone so happy, you sure seem sad," Cyborg observed, coming to say his goodnights.

"Oh, me? No…"

"B." Cyborg raised an eyebrow.

"I'm kinda scared…"

"Scared of what?"

"I-I don't know. It's just that… I keep thinking that the worst is yet to come and something really bad is gonna happen."

"Beastboy, you worry too much."

"No, ROBIN worries too much. I've just got this bad feeling…"

"Well, all I can tell ya' is that if it's a bad feeling, you need to trust it and keep your guard up."

"Right," I nodded. "But I don't think I'm the one in danger here…"

Cyborg had already left, leaving me to talk to the walls. I closed my eyes and concentrated on the goodness of my situation. I had finally found someone I loved that loved me back. And… hopefully… we would be in love… forever…

(Kison's POV)

We stood outside Titans Tower, Slade, Trigon, and myself, readying for our attack. To attack the city, we'd need to get rid of them first. My plan was finally being put into action. I turned to Slade who nodded, his army of androids approaching from behind. I grasped a vile of Raven's blood and threw it as hard as I could at the tower, sending sparks and power everywhere.

"Welcome to Hell, my friends," I smirked, pulling a black cloth over my mouth.

(Raven's POV)

I heard the alarm immediately, darting up out of my bed and grasping my cloak, throwing it around my shoulders. For some reason, I had an extremely horrible feeling running up and down my spine. I flung my door open and raced toward the front door, seeing Robin and Cyborg already there. I heard Starfire behind me.

"Where's Beastboy?" I asked quickly.

"God, that kid can sleep through anything!" Cyborg exasperated.

"I'll get him," I said quickly, headed back towards his room.

(Beastboy's POV)

"BEASTBOY!" I heard over the alarms. "GET UP, DAMMIT!"

"Huh? Oh, hey, Raven. What do you want?" I asked dreamily.

She rolled her eyes and slapped me. "THERE'S AN ALARM!"

I came to my senses and realized she was right. "Oh! Right! Let's go!"

We both rushed toward the front door, seeing that the other titans had already gone.

"Did they attack the tower?" I wondered aloud.

"That would be the only reason they'd leave with out us. Get ready," Raven replied.

"Right."

(Raven's POV)

That bad feeling was still there, haunting me. I tried desperately to ignore it but found that I couldn't. It just wouldn't go away. It made me feel like I was going to cry. Then I found out why as I threw the door open. There, in his own, cocky glory, was Kison. I gasped. Behind him stood Slade, who had taken on battle with Robin as usual and…

"My… f-f-father…" I whispered, feeling faint.

"Rae?"

I bit my lip, trying to fight the tears. My worst enemies were standing right in front of me and now my knees were weak.

"Please assist!" Starfire exclaimed, flying from Kison's frequent attacks.

"C'mon, Rae!" Beastboy snapped me out of my daze and I reluctantly followed.

"You best stay out of this fight, Raven," Kison yelled, making all halt and stare, wondering why he knew my name. "You could do something you regret…again!"

Rage was building up inside me as he stood there with that stupid, smug look on his face. I felt my hands shaking, my fists were clinched so tightly.

"Stop looking at me, damn you…"

"Oh, I don't have to look. I've SEEN you. I've FELT you. I know everything about you." Kison was chuckling now, filling me with even more uncontrolled anger. I could feel my cloak starting to rise in my power.

"Shut…up…" I growled. "You don't."

Beastboy was staring at me in wonderment. I brushed it off with a small flip of my hair. I made my way towards him.

"I'll fight him."

(Bum bum bum! Kison rears his ugly head again! Lots of angst to come! This story is coming to an end. I'm thinking… three more chapters? Yeah, probably three. But fret not, dear readers! There will be a sequel! Yay!)


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

(Beastboy's POV)

Each step Raven took toward that man seemed to echo in my mind. My heart was pounding against my ribs. Those thoughts of "she'll never come back," began to race through my mind again. Why were they doing so? Was I just worried? I readied myself to fight as well. Suddenly, this guy that Raven wanted to fight vanished!

"Come out, you coward!" Raven demanded, using her energy to power up her hands and a few rocks.

"Not a good idea, Raven, my dear," he said, appearing behind her. He grinned.

(Raven's POV)

"What?" I turned so slowly as Kison held up a gun of some sort. He aimed it at me.

"RAVEN!" Beastboy screamed.

Suddenly, it was as if every thread of my emotions, every bit of power that I had, was being sucked out of me. I could see blood pelting me- my blood, but not from an open wound. Kison was laughing. I yelled out, hitting the ground.

"Wh-what… did… you… do?" I whispered.

"Thanks for the blood, Raven," Kison said, smirking triumphantly down at me. "It's great to fight with."

"No…" Everything went black.

(Beastboy's POV)

"NO! YOU BASTARD!" I screeched, lunging at him. He blocked me and sent me flying into Slade.

I saw Robin's eyes widen as Slade gripped the top of my head.

"Beastboy!" Robin yelled.

"Look at him. So angry he can't even see straight." Slade squeezed my skull. I bit through my lip, blood pouring from the new wound.

"R-raven…Raven…RAVEN!" I roared, sending Slade backwards and to the ground. I hit the grass, breathing harshly.

"Beastboy! Are you alright?" Robin asked quickly in that leader-like tone he always had.

"Raven," was all that I could say, my hand shakily pointing toward her lifeless body.

"She'll be alright, Beastboy," Robin assured, then took off after Kison as Starfire had a go at Slade. Cyborg was trying to fend off Trigon.

I stumbled to my feet and transformed into a dog, limping over to her. I nudged Raven with my nose, feeling every bit of me rip apart inside. I started whining and whimpering, inside calling out her name. She stirred slightly and I jumped and began to lick her face lovingly.

(Raven's POV)

I could feel this warmth on my face as I opened my eyes, seeing a large green dog staring down at me.

"Beastboy…"

He quickly returned to the form of a man and grasped me, pulling me into his arms. "What the hell is the matter with you?!"

"I… I didn't know he could do that…"

"You'll be okay," I said.

But I felt nothing.

(Beastboy's POV)

"Yeah, I will," she said softly. For some reason, I felt that something was missing. I ignored it and stood.

"Rest," I said, then stared at Kison. "It's my turn."

Kison turned to me and nodded. "It is a mistake, you know."

"I can take you anytime, anywhere," I growled.

"Truly? Try this," he muttered as rocks around me began to rise, a tar black.

"You… you stole Raven's powers…." I said, falling upon realization.

Everyone was watching now in awe. My eyes shifted left to right.

"Actually," he said. "She GAVE them to me, willingly, the fool. I didn't steal these from her now. She gave me her blood, therefore, I have all her abilities now! TAKE THIS!"

I felt the rocks slam down upon me and I yelped, but I regained my composure quickly and changed to the form of a cheetah, racing towards him at high speed.

"That won't work on ME, animal man," he said, grasping me with Raven's power and spinning me around him before throwing me into the tower.

Robin and Starfire headed to attack Kison, who merely shrugged it off and began to attack them with full power, sending them into the ocean, covering it over so they couldn't breathe.

"Star! Robin!" Cyborg yelled before falling under these powers as well.

I slowly lifted myself onto my elbows in the rubble.

"Hey," I bellowed, my voice harsh.

Kison turned. "Take care of them Trigon, Slade. Then you both can rule this city. I don't care. This is all a game to me."

"I don't take orders," Slade grumbled, but was obviously enjoying the fact that Robin and Starfire were near drowning.

"Stop it!" I shouted. "STOP IT!"

Kison fell forward suddenly as a burst of black energy hit him in the back. Raven stood on shaky feet, breathing so harshly I feared she might die right there. I wasn't sure if I had called out her name or not- everything seemed so silent. Kison grabbed my ankle and threw me over his head, into Raven.

"Beastboy, let me finish this," Raven whispered mournfully.

"No, I can't! You'll die!"

"These are my powers, my emotions. I will control them."

I watched her take steps forward, reverberating through my mind yet again. Kison didn't look the least be threatened. Raven held out her hand, smiling softly. She closed her eyes as her outfit suddenly went completely white. Black power began to erupt from Kison, seeping into Raven's skin. I saw Robin and Starfire gasp as they finally made it out of the ocean, then collapse on the bank.

Cyborg stopped fighting to stare. Kison was screaming in anguish as the force of Raven's power leaving his skin caused him to bleed profusely. Raven's screams were louder, however. Or perhaps mine were. I was running, running toward her, but not feeling my feet slam against the rocky ground. A blinding white light grew over the area. I saw Raven turn back at me and smile softly. My eyes widened, my hand reaching for her though she seemed so far away.

"Retreat!" Slade yelled at Trigon.

The two seemed to vanish in the light. I didn't care. Raven was the only thing I could see now. I stumbled and found myself at her heels. I tried desperately to pull myself up, but to no avail. My weakness had finally defeated me. I felt tears pouring down my cheeks as I banged my fists against the ground.

"No, Raven! No! STOP!"

Kison's shadowed form dissolved in the light as I grasped the bottom of Raven's cloak. I felt her weight falling backwards.

"RAVEN! RAVEN! **RAVEN!**"

I saw many Ravens flying about, each wearing different colors, different faces. They seeped into the original and she hit the ground beside me. My eyes began to blur.

"No, I can't pass out… Raven… I have to help… Ra…ven…" Black.

(Robin's POV)

"Starfire, did you see that?" I asked, my voice choked.

"Yes, we must… help," Starfire gasped, crawling up the sand.

I nodded and we both climbed our way up the small cliff side, too weak to do anything else. I saw Slade and Trigon making their escape.

"Hey!" I yelled.

Slade turned, that one eye focused and narrowed. "Robin. This would be the woman's fault. She's much like Terra, is she not?" Then he turned and walked away without another word, leaving those words to dwell on my soul.

"Yeah… she is…"I thought. "And not in a good way.

(Beastboy's POV)

"B.B.! B.B.! Wake up! Beastboy!"

"Ra-raven?"

"No, Cyborg, stupid! But thank God, you're okay."

"Where's Raven?!" I demanded, bolting upward on the hospital bed. I saw that Cyborg had definitely gotten some bootleg repairs, probably just quick enough to help the others.

"Raven's still in the other room…" Cyborg said, a bit half-heartedly.

"Cyborg…" I whispered. "Is she… is she ALIVE?!"

"Yes, she's alive," Cyborg quickly reassured. "We'll talk about it later. Robin and Starfire woke up a few hours ago. God, B., you took quite a beating back there."

I just realized how sore I was and moaned, rubbing my head. Cyborg chuckled slightly.

"When you feel better, go ahead and walk around the tower if ya' want. I've gotta repair myself and the tower so I'll check ya' later."

"Yeah…" I said, falling backwards onto my pillow. "Ow…."

(Cyborg's POV)

"Robin," I said, stopping in front of him in the hallway only occupied by us. "You shouldn't do this…"

"Raven gave her powers to this guy, Cyborg. He used those powers to attack the titans. I don't really have a choice," Robin said, trying to mask his disappointment with determination.

I shook my head. "I still don't think it's right. She deserves a second chance."

"Cyborg, Raven's powers are destructive. Look what they did to everyone. Things could have been a lot worse. You saw her absorb those powers back. She probably has those under no control at all. We have to do it… we have to let her go…"

(A/N: I think the next chapter might be the last, now that I look at it. Yeah, probably. I hoped you liked this chapter. I must say that the action scene came out better than my usual action scenes. Those are hard to write. Ooh, Beastboy's gonna be pissed, huh? Oh, yeah. Definitely. I've already dreamed up the next chapter so expect it soon. Mwah!)


	14. Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fourteen

(A/N: For those of you who read my friend's note, which I have already removed, yes, my keyboard was no longer available to use. It was… kinda… ripped out of the back of my computer… for lack of better words. O.o I won't go into it… Ahem, well, now is the final chapter of Crimson! I'll give more info on the sequel in the author's note at the end.)

(Raven's POV)

A bright light. Muttering. A small sob. My eyes moved slowly to the right. I saw Robin and Cyborg discussing something, obviously serious by their faces, and Starfire in tears, desperately trying to talk them out of whatever they were planning to do. Robin glanced over at me, slightly panicked, then turned back to Cyborg, who stared at me, eyes wide. I arose slowly, feeling a pain zap through my veins. I ignored it. I had learned to ignore these things.

"What?" I asked, fearing the worst- something about Beastboy. "WHAT!"

Robin hesitated, then glanced at Cyborg again. Cyborg shook his head and left the room, obviously not wanting to be a part of it.

"Raven, we need to talk to you about something…"

(Beastboy's POV)

"Cyborg? What the hell is going on! I want to know now," I growled, seeing the face of my partner. It was almost sad. "It… it's about Raven isn't it? You lied! She's dead! She's dead, isn't she!"

Already I was on the brink of breakdown. I felt my balance wavering.

"No, Beastboy. She's not dead," Cyborg said. His voice was lifeless.

"Well… what! What's wrong with her!"

"You should go back and lay back down, B."

"NO! I want to know!"

"Fine." Cyborg sighed and pointed to another part of the infirmary. "See for yourself."

I raced toward the area, feeling every pain I had gained in the fight with Kison, especially one in my head. But no pain was near what I felt in my heart when my ears caught Robin's words.

(Raven's POV)

"Raven, this is hard for me to say…"

"I… I can take it, I promise," I said, my voice trembling. I could see various objects beginning to zip around the room, breaking me anymore.

"Raven, you have no more control over your powers… and… after what happened…" Robin seemed to be thinking his words over very carefully.

"What… are you saying?"

"Robin, please-" Starfire begged.

"Raven… your powers are beginning to endanger the people of Jump City. What would have happened had those guys hit the city first?"

"I… I don't know…"

"Is it true that you GAVE him your blood?"

"Yes…"

"Why?"

"I… I don't know…" I whispered on the verge of tears as each object in the room began to rise. "I… I guess my heart was in the wrong place. He… told me everything I wanted to hear. That I could be… normal…"

"Raven, I… I'm sorry… but…"

(Beastboy's POV)

"I have to ask you to leave the Teen Titans."

I wasn't sure I had heard it right. All I knew was that the world was spinning and my heart was pounding as if it would break my ribs. I could see flashes of those that I had lost- including one that I was again about to lose.

"I… I see…" Raven stood and began to walk towards the door.

She halted when she saw me. Everyone did. Raven's eyes glazed over and she brushed past me with speed. I met eye to eye with Robin. Starfire broke down into sobs and made a quick escape out of the room. I never thought I could hate anyone the way I did now. I hated him more than Slade, than Kison even, because he was taking another person away from me. No matter how selfish it seemed, nothing could match this pain I felt, because not only was I losing her, she was losing everything. I took three steps forward, hearing Cyborg approach behind me. I glared right through Robin's mask then landed a square punch against his jaw, sending him to the floor.

"You bastard. You heartless bastard…. I… I should kill you, but you're not good enough for that."

Robin looked away, ashamed. "Beastboy, I have to do what's best for Jump City."

"What about your team!"

"Beastboy, she could kill us."

"NO! SHE WOULD NEVER-"

"Beastboy, she has no more control," Cyborg's voice echoed from behind me. "She even fell for an obvious trick. She gave this guy her blood and let him off the hook easy."

"The hell she did!" I retorted. "You have no idea what she's been through!"

"Then FILL US IN!" Cyborg yelled, something he had never done to me in such a fashion before.

"She didn't go back because…" I didn't wish to speak of her privacy, but if it was to save her, I had to.

"Because!" Cyborg screamed.

"HE F-CKING **RAPED** HER!"

Both Robin and Cyborg froze in shock. I collapsed to my knees on the floor, too weak to stand. Tears of rage and sorrow were pouring down my cheeks, unstoppable.

"He… what?" Robin seemed as if he were going to pass out from stress.

"You heard me the first time." I sighed and half-heartedly wiped away a tear. "And now she's lost everything… her innocence… her control… h-her team…. No more. NO MORE!"

"Beastboy-" Cyborg started in a softer tone.

"IF SHE GOES, I GO!"

"What!"

"And I won't just go. I'll do anything in my power to get back at you. You betrayed me! YOU BETRAYED HER!"

"Beastboy, be logical!"

"NO! Logic is over! I'm sick of logic! Logic got me here in the first place!" I stood, beginning to make my way out of the room. "What the f-ck happened to SECOND CHANCES!"

"Beastboy, we can't just-"

I raised my middle finger and stormed out of the room.

(Cyborg's POV)

"Damn… Damn… DAMN!" Robin pounded his fists into the floor.

"Dude, we had to do it…"

"No, we didn't." Robin buried his head in his knees. "I'm so tired of messing things up…"

"Look," I said. "Why don't we try to help Rae and keep her on the team?"

"I don't know, Cyborg. I just don't know…" Robin shook his head in defeat.

(Raven's POV)

"Forget it, Starfire. It's not up for discussion," I muttered as I placed my mirror in a red silk bag that carried my belongings.

"But, perhaps we could speak to Robin and-"

"NO!" I screamed, my dresser mirror exploding into a million tiny pieces.

Starfire choked on a sob and nodded. "Yes… as you wish… but what about-"

"Say it, Starfire and I swear I will…"

Starfire didn't stick around. She flew off, crying loudly. If she had seen my face, she would have stayed. I was in no condition to make threats, my own tears salting my skin. I heard a knock on my door.

"What!"

"Raven?" The door creaked open to reveal Robin.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Am I not packing quick enough for you!" I truly wasn't angry at all. I understood completely. I just felt this uncontrollable rage towards everything, especially my stupid self.

"No, it's not that…"

(Beastboy's POV)

I sat on the rocks by the ocean. How many times had I sat on these rocks, thinking about things? Too many to count. I could hear someone approaching behind me and I closed my eyes.

"What do you want?"

"Beastboy," Raven's voice whispered, much like it usually was, composed and calm.

I turned slightly to see her face, still slightly contorted in holding back tears. A red bag was slung over her shoulder.

"Don't leave!" I screamed, losing any composure that I had, throwing my arms around her. "I'll kick his ass into the floor! I'll kill him! DON'T LEAVE!"

"Actually, Robin told me that I could stay."

"What? REALLY! Oh, thank Go-"

"But I chose to leave."

Everything I had ever felt shattered right then and there. I felt my heart couldn't take anymore of this pain.

"Wh-what? Why?" My voice was straining to come.

"Robin was right. I have no control. So I'm going back to Azarath to get control… so I can love you… for real…"

"B-but…"

"Beastboy, I'm doing this for you-"

"I don't care about your control! You can kill me with your kiss for all I care, as long as I die in your arms!" Those unstoppable tears were back.

"B-Beastboy…" Raven could no longer hold back her tears. She began to weep openly as rocks began to bounce and zing around the area. "I HAVE to do this. Please…"

She threw her arms around my neck, pulling me tighter than she ever had, as if she would never let go. I returned the embrace just as tightly.

"Please… wait for me…"

"You're really going to leave… I can't stop you can I?" I was on the verge of dying right there.

"Yes. I'm doing this for you and me as well. Wait for me?"

"I'll wait for eternities, Rae," I whispered.

"You have a way with words, Beastboy." She pulled away, then place a small kiss on my lips. "You should be a writer."

I smiled at her, though not really meaning it. She took flight and stared down at me with a wet smile.

"I'll come back, Beastboy. I'll come back and I'll love you forever. THAT'S A PROMISE!"

And with that, she had gone. Gone to another dimension. Gone to another place. Gone away from me. I bit my lip and returned to the tower in silence.

Needless to say, my Simple Plan CD was the highest it could go that night. I had never written so much in my life….

"Come back soon…" were the last words of ink against the paper. "I love you… Raven…"

And, God was it true…

THE END

(A/N: I feel sad now. U.U… Wait! There will be a sequel! I'm happy again! J I planned this ending from about halfway through the story, so there will be no opposite ending. Besides, the next story would make no sense if I did that. I really hope that you guys enjoyed reading this story as much as I did. You've all been so great in your reviews. I have never been so proud of a fanfic as I have this one and I am so happy that each of you enjoyed it. I feel like I know many of you personally. Stay tuned, however, because I will have a preview of the sequel up next chapter. It will be slightly more Cyborg centered this time 'cause… hey, he's grown on me. :pets Cyborg plushie: Thanks for sticking with me, reviewers! I WUV YOU ALL!)


	15. SEQUEL PREVIEW

Sequel Preview

"Raven, this is Misery," Beastboy presented the woman as nicely as he could, but I could tell he felt a bit uncomfortable around her.

She smiled softly. "Hi. I've heard a lot about you, Raven." Her voice made hairs on the back of my neck prickle for some reason. Her manner was so… creepy and familiar.

Cyborg watched from a corner, almost protectively. It made me wonder if he still trusted me after the whole fiasco with Kison. He hadn't spoken at all since I had returned. It almost frightened me, being that we were so close not three years before. I smiled at him, but he didn't seem to notice. I almost felt like crying.

"Anyway," I said quickly, trying to ignore the silence. "What are your powers, Misery?"

"Oh… um… I can do lots of things. I can fly… shoot blasts… that kinda thing." She shrugged it off, the one eye that she showed not telling the entire story.

"Tell me… why do you cover your right eye?"

Misery jumped at the question, then crossed her arms. "Um… 'cause I WANT to?"

(A/N!)

Okay, that was a preview from a chapter to the sequel, which will be titled "Misery". This fanfic will of course be RavenxBeastboy with hints of RobinxStar, just like last time, but Cyborg is gonna play a much bigger role in this as well. I'm not gonna give away much, though I'm sure you know he'll end up with Misery. Just wait as to why he's mad at Raven. It's not because of Kison. :wink: The sequel will be posted quite soon so keep an eye on your author alerts and such. Till then!

"Don't get pushy," I grumbled, then turned to Beastboy. "So, who's our latest enemies?"


End file.
